Power

For a strong, independent and working woman like me, its really difficult to give your Power away. We thrive on that power; its our weapon, its our support, its our strength. That power comes from the confidence that we hold in ourselves. When shaken, the repercussions could be deadly. And one must not even go close to that. But what happens when this power is nurtured by someone and respected enough only to be led by sheer breaking of the bubble to let it crumble under someone's feet you once thought you loved.

How confusing is Love?

I spend so much time weaving my own web with the careful details that at the end of it I am super proud of myself about my web, only to realize that I have no one to live with in that web. But isnt that the nature of the spiders? They live alone in their webs. But, Alas! I am a human. Sadly, a human.


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Is it that the person understands and loves me...?? Or is it that the person takes me for granted and loathes me...?? Is it the lack of drama that interests me and keeps me going..? Or is there enough drama that I dont see it through my naked eyes..?
I cant believe that I am asking these questions. I didnt believe these questions would ever exist. But they indeed do. They just did!!

How do you decide how many compromises to make? Are they directly proportional to the nuisance that you have created in your own life or are they inversely proportional to the degree of the dramaless life that was created for you?

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Saw this band perform yesterday and if I were a guy I would have made love with the lead singer. She was beautiful. Just yesterday, I explained my definition of "beautiful" to someone.



This was an awesome awesome band. Loved their attitude and their performance. :) And I see a relation with them.. as I plan on getting a starling on my chest for a tattoo.. :) I hope I see that day...soon.

I wish there is a Bright Light..

Su..Su.. Su...

And I just closed one of the most beautiful chapters of my life. I am ignorant. Forgive me, o dear lord, coz I don’t understand. But how I wish, I could turn that page back and re-read every single word of that chapter. I wish for a puff of wind to turn the pages for I am too stubborn to tread the same path all over again. More so, I am just exhausted.

I like myself a lovely poem and not a suicide note. I fear that reading it all over again will open up a side of it which I am not willing to see and so I chose to close the book instead.

Love is not lost. But life is cruel. Aint gonna make you the happiest person on this earth. Wish that particular chapter came with a translation to make certain that I understood the love poem as its meant to be. I aint no scholar. I am just a layman.

I hope I can keep the book till all of it is read. I hope those last chapters still have love phrases in them coz I am a lovebud and I can only get that far without it.

Wish you all the luck and love in the life to come. You deserve the very best. And I don’t insult myself when I say that I have loved you with all I got and I always will.

Current State: I sincerely wish that I am dreaming. I don’t dream much, but these days I have been. And I so wish that I get woken up to your sweet voice reading those pages again.


Dated 11/02/10
Haha.. In hindsight, I feel sorry for this post.. Nothing is stronger than the power of time. And indeed I woke up to his sweet voice.. :)

Khoyi Khoyi Si

khoyi khoyi si hoon main
kyun ye dil ka haal hai
dhundhle saare khaab hain
uljha har khayaal hai
saari kaliyaan murjha gayin
rang unke yaadon mein reh gaye
saare gharonde ret ke,
lehrein aayin lehron mein beh gaye.

raah mein kal kitne charaag the,
saamne kal phoolon ke baag the
kis se kahun kaun hai jo sune,
kaante hi kyun maine hain chune
sapne mere kyun hain kho gaye
jaage hain kyun dil mein gham naye

saari kaliyaan murjha gayin
rang unke yaadon mein reh gaye
saare gharonde ret ke,
lehrein aayin lehron mein beh gaye.

Kya kahun kyun ye dil udaas hai
ab koi door hai na paas hai
chhoo le jo dil wo baatein ab kahan
wo din kahan raatein ab kahan
jo beeta kal hai ab khwab sa
ab dil mera hai betaab sa

saari kaliyaan murjha gayin
rang unke yaadon mein reh gaye
saare gharonde ret ke,
lehrein aayin lehron mein beh gaye..

Tunnel

I dreamt of him.
I never dream! I generally dont dream!
And now that I did, it was him. It was a happy dream though. We hugged. :) And it was a goood hug.
Its unbelievable though.

Does he ever dream of me?