Stretchmarks

And the honeymoon period ends! I am sitting on the shitpot and writing this post.. Yeah yeah.. dont go euu and yikes..! Thats the only place in the entire house where I get some peace and am away from the realization that it has been hypnotized by a pink giant.

Aaah.. Happy one month to me! It was an awesome break and I couldnt have asked for a better one. Everything was perfect..everything was the way I wanted it to be..everything was on my terms and I didnt mind adjusting for the some. But now starts the diplomacy and the cold wars and the unknown acknowledgements of who gets the bigger piece of the pie.

Mom, I love you. Madhav, I love you. I wish I had more people to love. But the world isnt as easy as they make it for me. And I need to learn better. S square are great. I am close to loving them. But it stops right there.

Adios!

Language of Strength

I never thought I would miss reading newspapers, a habit that I cultivated out of sheer pressure of being aware of things around me. But I terribly miss it. There used to be a time when I would follow the Indian politics and knew the nitty gritties. Its been 7 months and I have no clue. At that point this article came to me and I loved reading it... loved forming opinions.. loved debating with myself and with people. It made sense.

For all those who blame India of being too soft - "we are a stable nation with a single centre of democratic authority, we talk with one voice. And unfortunately each time, that works against us". We just are no madmen.

The Madman Theory of Politics

Resilience

And.. its yet another new year. Another year has gone whooshing by. I have never been so lost and unaware of myself. There had come a point in time few years back when I had decided that I will stop trying to know myself. Coz it was a mystery, almost like a treasure hunt, and it tortured me as I never felt anywhere close to the treasure trunk. The more I tried to solve the mystery, the more I felt I was drifting away from knowing myself. And I decided to not try any further. Thought this to be the best approach as a little mystery in life is always good. Guys like a mysterious girl, dont they? :)

But NO. I aint no guy. And I need to be aware of what I want, what I intend to do, what my aim is and all that. I am a girl with plans. I always have plans. Yes, I love spontaneity. But then again, if it is well planned. How is it that this time.. in this new year... I am lost! I thought of a new year resolution. But I was so distant from myself that I didnt even know what I wanted. In 25 years, I saw my first shooting star. It was beautiful :) But I didnt wish for anything. I didnt know what to wish for. There are, at this juncture in my life, so many things that are of importance. But I cant prioritize. I am being trained to be a manager.. and I cannot prioritize my own life. What am I getting at?

*Oh at that.. some people believe that I talk about my MBA so often coz I want the world to know. But I have never before enjoyed learning as much as I do in my MBA program. I hate finance, Yes. But thats about it. So yeah, I will continue to talk about it.*

So I am still lost. But right now all I know is that I need to show some resilience. Be what I always was and always have been and always will love to be. At this my mom reminded me of her favorite dialog from Jab We Met - I love myself and I am my favorite.

I am not going to allow myself to succumb to the nincompoops that are around me. It is staggeringly difficult though. I thought I could. It was 10 days into the new years with such strong thoughts in my mind and I messed up again. I couldn't do it. But to not give up is what I am aiming at. There you go... ! My new year resolution - To not give up.

Cheesy man.. these resolutions are..but I am reviving a lot of old things. Lets try this one too. And not to forget - Garima, be good to everyone. How much ever you need to fake it, still be good. Thats what the world wants. A flatterer-backbiter friend rather than a true-on the face foe. Although I choose otherwise, the world doesn't and you need to FIT in. Don't you?