Rise Up

I have been wanting to go off facebook for a while now. Not off like delete the profile and be dead, but limit my consumption of nail polish and make-up tutorials, DIY tutorials, and "fake news". I think to myself that when I could live through the everyone-getting-married facebook era and then the baby-producing phase with a daily new baby announcement on facebook, I have already lived through the challenging parts of the online/virtual life. Now its an easy sail. I dont comdemn it. I do appreciate the fact that I have been able to connect with very distant acquaintances that I never really spoke in real life, but have been able to develop ties in this new online living.

However I learnt about something on facebook today that related to the past disaster in my life, and I started to wonder where does one draw the line. It resulted in 10 secs of surprise followed by pity for the poor guy justifying his current existence. But that also quickly withered away and followed by my lowly meanderings and that stayed. What the hell am I doing? There is a world of knowledge and sea of inspiring people and here I am surrounding myself with people that don't intrigue me. There is no dearth of good people. I am good too. But that is the lowest bar I can set for myself. Since when did I allow myself to be so unbecoming of my own caliber. Just being occupied in conversations is not enough. A state of nothingness is far better than numbing dull conversations. No? Or can one learn something or the other from everyone and every conversation? I miss B. Never thought I would but I do. He tired me by talking sense all the time. And now I miss it. But coming back to this incidence it has just left me wondering why I entangle myself in the past so much. I left it behind coz I didnt want it. Then I should not have it. I am not differentiating myself from him by doing this. I am being like him and I dont like him.

Rise Up !

Requiem for a Truth

Quite simply put there is something called as unconditional love and it exists only between a mother and her child. Also although unacceptable to younger generation and often contested, there is a lot of wisdom that comes with age, but yes only if you allow yourself to fully immerse and engage in life experiences. Surprisingly enough there are people that stay away from it all and believe abundantly in their own circle of living. I enjoy standing at this juncture so deeply aware hoping for souls to catch up. I see now the differences with which men and women are built and the two sides of the table that they represent. And just like a coin would be faceless and valueless without either one of the sides, so will be the society. I suppose I grew up with more virtual testosterone in me than an average girl. It took my boss just about a month and fewer than ten conversations to realize, get acquainted to, and begin to respect my aggression/passion/assertiveness and my man-like mannerisms. Am I speaking against the feminist wave?

And just like that conjecture, there is also the confusion around creative presence vs organization.. whimsical mind vs logical one. Like many other forms, is this also a dominant vs submissive situation? Or is it lack of practice and/or courage? This constant need to acquire knowledge but the laziness and/or lack of interest pushes to give up. Its a constant struggle but an interesting one at that.

All other kinds of love, if there are different kinds, are quite conditional. Everyone is expected to love the other more than they love them. Everyone wants to be around an easy and quite-so-often-used-word 'nice' company. Its a catch 22 situation, aint it? We all as consumers want the best quality product at the cheapest prices with utmost convenience. Somehow Amazon seems to have accomplished quite well on this road. I suppose its possible.

And then along the road I meet women that are so unhinged by this challenge of life that requires them to ride the wave of feminism and they wear it proudly so even after their understanding of the two sides of the coin quite well... that requires them to do both - be logical and hopeful at the same time.. that allows them to love unconditionally yet at their own terms and conditions. Its peaceful. :)