Nocare..

..Connecting people, but with a disconnect!

Shit happens..

..but life moves on.

In this weird scenario that I find myself dealing with there are some small good things that happen to you and you realize that world is a better place than what you thought it was.

Cheers! to Life.. that stops for no one..

The show must go on... Looking forward to Boston and then Indianapolis.

Love Undone

And.. history repeats itself but everytime it adds a new touch to it.. just so that we are not bored.. Oh it takes care like that.. (sarcastic sarcastic smile).

Or I wonder.. isnt this a work of circular existence. I googled the idea of circular existence, but the theory isnt well developed and is mostly retorted back at by the cynics who want to take the blame for everything that goes wrong and just dont want to leave it to the fate.

But oh well.. ! Whatever it is.. life kicks you in the butt right when you think you have a very nice ass...! Such is life..

Why are guys so confused?..yes these days my posts are clouded by guy-thoughts but they are indeed holding a lot of my attention off late.. I understand I am here to study and make a career for myself and blah blah blah.. But Im still 25 and enjoying life... So..

Why are guys so confused? I always wanted to have a relationship with a bad guy... and I have it now. All my guy friends and boy friends have been men of the highest honor and I couldnt have been treated better. But I finally have had my share of a bad experience - an experience with a bad guy. A guy who cheats, who lies, who is scared of commitment (so am I with this guy.. but woteva), who hides things and makes excuses. Well, he opens the doors for me...all the possible doors in the world - car door, restaurant door, home door and on and on goes the door opening. It really gets irritating sometimes.. Yes, it gets irritating esp when you know he aint in love with you. Partly he is not the best guy in the world and partly coz he is American! They are so slow in getting involved with someone. And they are always so polite and make things seem otherwise. I never falter in seeing through guys.. or for that matter people. But this is my first mistake.. or may be I was looking forward to this mistake.. and made it deliberately. I dont know.

What hurts is the fact that they prefer the chase. I could have been all "hard-to-get" and my life would have been amazing. Weird law but is indeed true!

Anyways. It was a weekend of horror! But who cares.. walk away is the new policy. Its surprising how easy that is for people and it is so opposite for me. I can forget (not forgive) and keep up than just let my relationships fall through.

Anyways, now I am hungry and I cannot type anymore.

Current Status - Angry/Pissed/In need for a drink

Referral

I feel loss of words today as I write this post. My mind is a 'mela' of all sorts of thoughts right now but I cannot bring myself to comprehend what each one of them is indicating and getting at and how can I organize them all. For an overtly organized person, this gives nightmares. These are the times that I dread.

I have been observing people a bit too much lately. Its amazing that how beyond the cultural barrier, everyone has the same way of thinking and delivering. And I was quite amused by it too. But come what may, I have come to realize that culture plays such a big role in a person's upbringing. Underneath everyone is still the same, but the layers that cover them coz of the culture and their upbringing brings about a massive change in people and its not easy to penetrate through.

Americans amuse me with the variety of people they exhibit. But then again, I guess so are Indians (and I say that coz I find it very difficult to explain to Americans how Indians are not just one kind and how not everyone in India touches everyone's feet). A friend of mine, J, constantly believes that every other girl who take an initiative to talk to him even once likes him. He calls this giving himself the 'benefit of doubt'. But how right is that? He looks deep into this girl's eyes, has the gut-smile* on this face, and kisses her forehead and then her cheek. And he clearly has a boner as he shows his affection for this girl. In conversations later, when this comes up he lives in denial and assumes the girl to take the responsibility for not pushing him away! Which girl pushes a guy away who shows such affection on her. .. errrrm he says American girls.. Haah..!! This blew me away. Is it really culture. Just coz that girl was Argentinian and she is more sensitive to other people's needs, she has to take responsibility for his boner.. ! Well I am sure, she is partly responsible. ;). I think all this is pretty immature for a 30 year old man.

And then there is another American friend that I have. He has one of the most atypical history an American guy can have. The way its depicted in movies. (I like I like). But he claims he is far away from there now and has grown out of the nuances of his life (he is well experienced that way..). But he likes it simple!!! Never talks openly about his past. Mystery hovers around him all the time.. and then he asks for things being simple and easy! Hypocrites - most Americans. I know every guy likes the chase better than the commitment. But even if there is no commitment, its difficult to have these American guys tied down the way our poor Indians guys mostly are.

But then there are exceptions. Or should I say the 'other kind'. Going strong for a number of years. Have'nt seen a couple so much in love before. When I look at them, it gives me jitters. I have never liked or loved anyone so much. Am I missing something?

And then there is another friend that I have, W. An overtly ethical kinds. The ones who would look down upon you if you did an individual project in a group! And might even consider complaining. Did I ever mention that Americans have this nasty habit of complaining. They are complaining all the time. Mostly about people around them. Its surprising how guys gossip here and that just increases my respect for my friends back home.

I guess I need to stop observing less and concentrate more on my Managerial Accounting exam that I have day after.

Current status - Disinterested/Confused

*gut-smile - A term that I coined which only I understand -- its the kind of smile that is most genuine, most intense and believable and it mostly is smiled when the guy is expressing his deep passion for his woman.

Miss You

I miss you..

I miss it..

I miss that..

:)

.. the music.. the breeze.. the hugs.. the drives.. the people.. the window.. the terrace.. oh my DG.. the cabs.. the corn.. the cheesecake.. my love.. my life..

P.S. Aboli.. you were somehow on my mind partly when I wrote this..

..not bad.. rather good..

Hmm.. So its been good lately..

No stories to be told, no reasons, and no I am not getting married! but life is just happy.

:D :D

Its good to live without caring about other people's perceptions about you!

Pretend

So.. a story..

There was this senior of mine from school. I dont remember by how many years was she senior to me, but I do remember she being my class prefect and also teaching us a dance to the tunes of 'Ra Ra Rasputin' for the Livingstone (green) house social.* She wasn't startlingly beautiful, but had very different features. She had a squared jaw, doesnt suit many but she carried it off pretty well. And her attitude was not liked by many. But I remember her telling me that she found me very beautiful, a beauty that was different and not clearly visible by many, and so I remember liking her more than anyone else.

Another thing that I remember about her was that she always wore that transparent nailpolish. I loved it. She had a sister, who was junior to me, and people from my batch kinda found her a retard and slow.**

So why am I mentioning her now? Well, recently I added her on facebook and if I remember right this was the second time that I sent her a friend request. And she ignored it! Haha. Now I am very sure that its not coz she doesnt remember me, coz she does. Coz I left her a personal msg which said things she'd know, but coz she is now married to my ex-good friend's elder brother!! How idiotic and narrow minded is that? I didnt kill her brother in-law man. There were misunderstandings and it just didnt work out. And not that I was his girlfriend. These are relationships and things can go wrong. I would understand if she was seeing him (my friend). But she is married to his elder bro!!

I just found it very stupid. Well, thats my perspective. Some people believe in showing their support for their friends and family members, by limiting their relationships with people who they have no direct problems with and who they knew much before the so-called problem persisted.

I wasnt pissed when she ignored the friend request, I was just sitting by my computer table and grinning in disgust. :)

* Socials: Wow.. its been a long long time that I thought about those. I had almost forgotten that those existed in our school :). How we juniors were always kept away from those and that made us get that same prom kinda feel.

** She had that weird boy cut at that time. But to my surprise, she has turned into a really beautiful girl today. And that teaches me a lesson to not have opinions about people you havent interacted with.