I don't like the beginnings and I also don't like the endings. I am apprehensive about the beginnings and am sad about the endings. Can things not remain the way they are? And if they can, then for how long? We all know and agree that Change is inevitable. And how much ever I hate to agree, Change is necessary. Isn't it? It was this force that drove me out of Pune. I loved the city and still do but the routine and the people/things involved in that routine can get to you.
I like a fast paced life. Not because it keeps me put but because only then I get to experience the charm of an autumn evening sitting at the ledge of my terrace, listening to my ipod and watching the reflection of the setting sun on the park below. Coz in a fast paced life such times are rare and they are enjoyable coz they are rare. A person living in the countryside doesn't really appreciate it as much as a city person. I love the countryside. Have I ever mentioned that before?
My friend is in China. This is her first visit there. It makes me reminisce about my first trip abroad-to the US of A. I started this blog much later and never got to write about it and so never did. But probably I couldnt pen down what I felt. I could never do justice to that trip if I wrote. I am not such a good writer, you see. My flight over ther Pacific, the rocky seabed of San Francisco and the grand airport-nothing has yet fazed out and it has been two years!! That was the awesomest trip and the most memorable new years - ice skating at downtown SFO with the firecrackers up the Bay Bridge. My peers, my wallet full of dollars, Safeway and Wal-mart, Vegas, LA, towering high red coloured Golden Gate Bridge and not to forget the much less credited Half Moon Bay made my trip the awesomest ever. I see I have used the not-a-word 'awesomest' twice, but there isnt a better word in my vocabulary to describe what I felt. It was one of my most fulfilling experience as a travel freak. I wonder why do I call myself that. I havent really travelled that much per say. But I love it and I will. Well, coming back to her, I wish she enjoys her trip thoroughly. I and, I assume, she too live on ideas. We like the idea of doing something and we do it. I liked the idea of having a hot mug of coffee-so I started having it and liking it although at one point of time I used to not. I know she has always wanted to be on her own and travel and experience and I hope she does just that and nothing more and nothing less.
Friends. Mystery. Weird. Faith. Lots of tears. Coffee. Talk about Boys. Talk about Girls. Clothes. And now shoes. This and much more is what I relate to friends. I have had some really awesome people in my life and I cannot be more thankful. Somehow even though there have been 'friends' who have given me the hardest times of my life, I still am thankfull that they were there coz without them I would have stood where I was years back and not moved. Mom, parents, family have been the pillars to help me stay grounded but friends have taken me ahead. I just finished watching the last episode of the last season of Sex and the City. I like the friendship there. Its not judgemental, its not interfering but yet its there for you always. You are not compelled to tell everything to the other person and even if you do you are not judged. We, in India, are always judging people. We call it a society and we live by its Norms. But if I may ask, who makes this society? Don't we? Then why try and please ourselves with something we don't like?
Scene 1 - A guy and a girl on a park bench --> I saw Mrs Khanna's daughter on the PARK BENCH with a BOY. It was very dark. I dont know what they were doing. But I always had my doubts on that girl. Mrs Khanna gives too much of freedom to her daughter.
Scene 2 - A bunch of girls in a pub --> you know my son saw Mrs Khanna's daughter in the BEER BAR. They were 3-4 girls. How could parents allow girls to go to SUCH a place so late in the NIGHT all ALONE.
Scene 3 - A guy smoking near a tapri --> I saw Mrs Khanna's son SMOKING on the road. He looked so awaara. His jeans were so low as if they were gonna fall.
and many more like this. Why are we judging so much...?? I have been on a godforsaken PARK BENCH with a guy, coz all the coffee shops were full. And sometimes even coz I got bhutta there.
Well, this whole post is inspired by Sex and the City. I hated the damn thing when I started to watch it and I continued to do so coz I had really nothing better downloaded to watch. I never though I was cut for it. A serial about Sex, how lame could that get? But I liked it. Takes a lot for me to accept it here. But, hey I did. What I didn't like was Carrie Bradshaw. She was lame.
These days I am putting an extra effort to be positive. Someone told me that I used to once upon a time. And its a good thing right!! And I had it!! So why lose it? I don't like being optimistic but I sure can be positive.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
High on LiFe
He did it in style. Style that is peculiar to him. Anticipation had left me very troubled till I saw him take charge his way. I am all smiles now. I know him and I should have known what followed. Nice people do nice things and nice people deserve nice things.
Yet there are things I could tell myself and feel sorry for nice people in question, but I wont. I am happy as it is and HiGh On LiFe.
*****
Too much of Sex and the City has converted the remaining half of me into a typical woman. For one, my ever increasing urge to shop. I like to shop when I need to shop, mostly because I never have enough money to splurge on things for which I don't have space to store. It is definitely not a mood lifter for me. But it's no more the same. I was a clothes girl. I loved them. All kinds. And now I want shoes!! I couldn't care less of what I wore on my feet as far as they were comfortable and I could walk. Further, I don't have a sweet tooth and I don't drool over chocolates, cheese cakes and brownies. Its been a month of watching this darned series and I can't get enough of any of these and more. I should be hitting the gym instead, but the characters indulge into these every time they undergo a break-up. I indulge in them without even a reason. Once I get a place of my own and my own oven/microwave I am going to make brownies. And I know I'll do a fine job at that.
*****
Suddenly the cooking lady in me has woken up and she makes some yummy stuff. Its been a year of cooking for a person who Hated to enter the kitchen. She'd stay without food than ever enter the kitchen. It's different now. Though I would love to experiment than just make the regular khana, our kitchen (shared by 7) with its limited space doesn't allow me to.
*****
I have a hundred things to do. My To Do list couldn't have been longer. But I know I'll work it out. My earlier post 'Closure' is really working for me.
*****
Its a funny routine that I have noticed on my blog. People read and comment and talk much more about posts related to life, feelings and other abstract things. But when I have a thought provoking post there are hardly any takers. Why? More so, the anonymous comments are ever increasing on my blog. Not the right time for me talk about this though :). But why do we want to be anonymous at times? I know, for one, when you don't want the person to know that you visited. And I cant think of more. But why wouldn't you want the person to know that you visited? Because it will flatter him? Or because if your identity is known then there is likely to be a biased reply from the author of the blog? Is it just limited to blogging? Don't we wish at times we were powered to anonymously walk around the entire city? Where you could be yourself and not judged. Yes, its easy to say that one shouldn't care about people's judgements and I couldn't agree more. I don't not care at all, but I sure do far less than others in comparision. But, coming back to the point, don't we all want to be anonymous at times?
But not on my blog...
Yet there are things I could tell myself and feel sorry for nice people in question, but I wont. I am happy as it is and HiGh On LiFe.
*****
Too much of Sex and the City has converted the remaining half of me into a typical woman. For one, my ever increasing urge to shop. I like to shop when I need to shop, mostly because I never have enough money to splurge on things for which I don't have space to store. It is definitely not a mood lifter for me. But it's no more the same. I was a clothes girl. I loved them. All kinds. And now I want shoes!! I couldn't care less of what I wore on my feet as far as they were comfortable and I could walk. Further, I don't have a sweet tooth and I don't drool over chocolates, cheese cakes and brownies. Its been a month of watching this darned series and I can't get enough of any of these and more. I should be hitting the gym instead, but the characters indulge into these every time they undergo a break-up. I indulge in them without even a reason. Once I get a place of my own and my own oven/microwave I am going to make brownies. And I know I'll do a fine job at that.
*****
Suddenly the cooking lady in me has woken up and she makes some yummy stuff. Its been a year of cooking for a person who Hated to enter the kitchen. She'd stay without food than ever enter the kitchen. It's different now. Though I would love to experiment than just make the regular khana, our kitchen (shared by 7) with its limited space doesn't allow me to.
*****
I have a hundred things to do. My To Do list couldn't have been longer. But I know I'll work it out. My earlier post 'Closure' is really working for me.
*****
Its a funny routine that I have noticed on my blog. People read and comment and talk much more about posts related to life, feelings and other abstract things. But when I have a thought provoking post there are hardly any takers. Why? More so, the anonymous comments are ever increasing on my blog. Not the right time for me talk about this though :). But why do we want to be anonymous at times? I know, for one, when you don't want the person to know that you visited. And I cant think of more. But why wouldn't you want the person to know that you visited? Because it will flatter him? Or because if your identity is known then there is likely to be a biased reply from the author of the blog? Is it just limited to blogging? Don't we wish at times we were powered to anonymously walk around the entire city? Where you could be yourself and not judged. Yes, its easy to say that one shouldn't care about people's judgements and I couldn't agree more. I don't not care at all, but I sure do far less than others in comparision. But, coming back to the point, don't we all want to be anonymous at times?
But not on my blog...
Friday, October 24, 2008
Moment
I couldn't have been more sorry about anything in my entire life than what I did today, just now. Anger, aggressiveness and thoughtless speaking & writing has always put me in worst of the situations and I cannot face what I did just now.
How I wish I could disappear in the thin air or just melt or somehow become anonymous.
Screw the technology and I wish he ain't aware of it...but I only wish. Screw me.
Shit!! Shit!! Shit!!
How I wish I could disappear in the thin air or just melt or somehow become anonymous.
Screw the technology and I wish he ain't aware of it...but I only wish. Screw me.
Shit!! Shit!! Shit!!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Closure
To all those who care about me even the slightest - I Love You.
When days are happy and cheerful, its difficult to think about you. I blame it on the busy schedule and lack of habit. But it doesn't take too long to curl up in the bed in my satin sheets allowing the guilty tear roll down my cheek.
As I had mentioned in my first post and I quote, 'Happiness is a state of mind', I shall strive to be happy and content with life coz I am blessed with much more than most. You must give up your possessions, however precious they might be, to avoid them from giving up on you. Respect, beauty and happiness are as much with you as you think they are. They are your slaves, you are not theirs. Give yourself the credit for who you are coz you must realize YOU are the only one in this universe. You are unique. No one can take that away from you and must be condemned if they ever try to.
When days are happy and cheerful, its difficult to think about you. I blame it on the busy schedule and lack of habit. But it doesn't take too long to curl up in the bed in my satin sheets allowing the guilty tear roll down my cheek.
As I had mentioned in my first post and I quote, 'Happiness is a state of mind', I shall strive to be happy and content with life coz I am blessed with much more than most. You must give up your possessions, however precious they might be, to avoid them from giving up on you. Respect, beauty and happiness are as much with you as you think they are. They are your slaves, you are not theirs. Give yourself the credit for who you are coz you must realize YOU are the only one in this universe. You are unique. No one can take that away from you and must be condemned if they ever try to.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Autumn leaves..
Another year flown so fast
Yet so beautiful was the past
Wishful won't have to live it again
Hoping future will not be a bigger pain
Yet so beautiful was the past
Wishful won't have to live it again
Hoping future will not be a bigger pain
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Never believe in something so much that you lose an essence of things that are around you. Nothing lasts for ever..
Saturday, September 27, 2008
A regular affair..!!
Another Bomb Blast..!!!
Its 2:15 pm, mehrauli hardware galli, South Delhi. Two men on a motorcycle manoeuver in through the narrow galli, drop a black plastic bag and tread back the same path. A little boy playing in the street picks up the bag and runs behind the bike only to have his last act of kindness go unfinished. He just was a good boy whose mommi taught him to be kind and helpful. The Indian Police follows the tradition of the hindi movies and reaches 45 mins late. Afterall the movies aren't totally based on foul information.
******
I have a meeting every Tuesday with my onsite (US) client. And for the last 5-6 months, she has been asking me every week, "Oh..!! Another Bomb Blast?? How are you?? How is your family?? Its must be so difficult to live under terror in your home country." How do I tell her that India is beyond all this. India is beautiful and friendly. Its colourful and vibrant. Its warm with a rich cultural heritage. And I love my country. Its just a minority, a few of them who have a different perception of a country.
******
Talking about minorities.. How many minorities are there in India. Come to think of it, if we put all the minorities together, it might come to be more than the 'so called' majority. I might be wrong. These are not statistical figures. But thats not the point. Since a long time there has been enough friction between Hindu-Muslims. And to most of us its become a part of our life in India. It started in 40's and then aggravated every decade. Then came something new to worry ourselves with. In the recent past there have been huge issues with the caste reservations too which our respected Ambedkar sa'ab had included in the Constitution only for the first few decades considering the harijan belief that existed then. This part of the Constitution was extended in the 80's as Congress couldn't afford to lose this vote bank. And one mistake leads to another. There came the Mandal Commission in the 90's. The self immolation by Rajeev Goswami sparked a series of self immolations by students all over India. But nothing defies the greed for votes. And today we have a 49.5% quota for the various minorities. So much so that we are fighting to be a part of it. Lathi dhava, interrupting the trains, burning public property and all that they can do just to be recognized as a part of minority. The qualification to be a groom is not to have a MBA/Engg degree but to have a SC/ST/OBC certificate. The former they say can follow. People WAKE UP..!! We need to move ahead and not take a step back.
******
There is this new ad on TV which asks you to WAKE UP.. (jago re..) and vote coz if we are not voting then we sure are sleeping. I turned 18 six years ago and I have never voted till date. I dont even have a voter's id. Shameful am I? NO. Initially I never wanted to vote coz I felt I am still too young to understand the complexities that follow. And I will wait for the right time. And by the time I understood those complexities and realised who I will be voting for (if i did), I chose not to. Id rather not vote than vote for the wrong person, for a person that I dont completely believe will be a good leader. I will vote not for the 'better' person but for one that I feel can completely lead the country. I will vote the day Rahul Gandhi contests for Prime Ministership.
******
I was talking to a friend of mine regarding the attacks on Churches in Bangalore. The attacks were a reply to the Christian community (read Bishop) for their alleged forceful conversion of Hindus to Christians. The converted dont second this. They are happy to be Christians today just because they are recognised, helped and feel a part of a community. In an effort to protect the culture, Bajrang Dal cannot deny aam junta of their rights. It cannot decide for them. If you are pro Hindutva and think that there is no reason for these people to convert themselves then preach them the same. By reverting to violent ways you are only strengthening their belief. My friend's friend is a pro Bajrang dal and supports their claims. There were exchange of a number of mails between them each trying to prove the other's idea/approach wrong and claiming their's to be right. Well discussing those mail with my friend I could see what they are trying to do and why they are trying to do it and may be in their light they may be right. But the path that they have resorted to is horrendous and will make them no less jihadis or terrorits (as we call them) than their Muslim counterparts.
******
It has come down to this..!!! to this..!!!! Unbelievable..
There is now no value for life. The once considered the most sacred gift is no longer a thing of pride. Its Money, Greed ,Envy, Jealousy, Selfishness and everything but the love for life in today's world (notice the small l of life as against the caps of others). An Indian CEO of an Italian company operating in Noida was beaten to death by anguished management workers. We are all educated people! Now even education cannot tame crime. Well we had an MBA student as one of the bomb plotters in Delhi. And if this was not all, our Labour Minister spoke words of shame as he supported those who were responsible for this hideous act of crime. According to him the labour of India needs to be protected against such management mafia and this was a good example set to them. I agree that I dont consider the CEO to be fairly naive but this is about somebody's life and by no means can statements like this be passed without a ruling.
******
That'll be all MyLord..!!
Its 2:15 pm, mehrauli hardware galli, South Delhi. Two men on a motorcycle manoeuver in through the narrow galli, drop a black plastic bag and tread back the same path. A little boy playing in the street picks up the bag and runs behind the bike only to have his last act of kindness go unfinished. He just was a good boy whose mommi taught him to be kind and helpful. The Indian Police follows the tradition of the hindi movies and reaches 45 mins late. Afterall the movies aren't totally based on foul information.
******
I have a meeting every Tuesday with my onsite (US) client. And for the last 5-6 months, she has been asking me every week, "Oh..!! Another Bomb Blast?? How are you?? How is your family?? Its must be so difficult to live under terror in your home country." How do I tell her that India is beyond all this. India is beautiful and friendly. Its colourful and vibrant. Its warm with a rich cultural heritage. And I love my country. Its just a minority, a few of them who have a different perception of a country.
******
Talking about minorities.. How many minorities are there in India. Come to think of it, if we put all the minorities together, it might come to be more than the 'so called' majority. I might be wrong. These are not statistical figures. But thats not the point. Since a long time there has been enough friction between Hindu-Muslims. And to most of us its become a part of our life in India. It started in 40's and then aggravated every decade. Then came something new to worry ourselves with. In the recent past there have been huge issues with the caste reservations too which our respected Ambedkar sa'ab had included in the Constitution only for the first few decades considering the harijan belief that existed then. This part of the Constitution was extended in the 80's as Congress couldn't afford to lose this vote bank. And one mistake leads to another. There came the Mandal Commission in the 90's. The self immolation by Rajeev Goswami sparked a series of self immolations by students all over India. But nothing defies the greed for votes. And today we have a 49.5% quota for the various minorities. So much so that we are fighting to be a part of it. Lathi dhava, interrupting the trains, burning public property and all that they can do just to be recognized as a part of minority. The qualification to be a groom is not to have a MBA/Engg degree but to have a SC/ST/OBC certificate. The former they say can follow. People WAKE UP..!! We need to move ahead and not take a step back.
******
There is this new ad on TV which asks you to WAKE UP.. (jago re..) and vote coz if we are not voting then we sure are sleeping. I turned 18 six years ago and I have never voted till date. I dont even have a voter's id. Shameful am I? NO. Initially I never wanted to vote coz I felt I am still too young to understand the complexities that follow. And I will wait for the right time. And by the time I understood those complexities and realised who I will be voting for (if i did), I chose not to. Id rather not vote than vote for the wrong person, for a person that I dont completely believe will be a good leader. I will vote not for the 'better' person but for one that I feel can completely lead the country. I will vote the day Rahul Gandhi contests for Prime Ministership.
******
I was talking to a friend of mine regarding the attacks on Churches in Bangalore. The attacks were a reply to the Christian community (read Bishop) for their alleged forceful conversion of Hindus to Christians. The converted dont second this. They are happy to be Christians today just because they are recognised, helped and feel a part of a community. In an effort to protect the culture, Bajrang Dal cannot deny aam junta of their rights. It cannot decide for them. If you are pro Hindutva and think that there is no reason for these people to convert themselves then preach them the same. By reverting to violent ways you are only strengthening their belief. My friend's friend is a pro Bajrang dal and supports their claims. There were exchange of a number of mails between them each trying to prove the other's idea/approach wrong and claiming their's to be right. Well discussing those mail with my friend I could see what they are trying to do and why they are trying to do it and may be in their light they may be right. But the path that they have resorted to is horrendous and will make them no less jihadis or terrorits (as we call them) than their Muslim counterparts.
******
It has come down to this..!!! to this..!!!! Unbelievable..
There is now no value for life. The once considered the most sacred gift is no longer a thing of pride. Its Money, Greed ,Envy, Jealousy, Selfishness and everything but the love for life in today's world (notice the small l of life as against the caps of others). An Indian CEO of an Italian company operating in Noida was beaten to death by anguished management workers. We are all educated people! Now even education cannot tame crime. Well we had an MBA student as one of the bomb plotters in Delhi. And if this was not all, our Labour Minister spoke words of shame as he supported those who were responsible for this hideous act of crime. According to him the labour of India needs to be protected against such management mafia and this was a good example set to them. I agree that I dont consider the CEO to be fairly naive but this is about somebody's life and by no means can statements like this be passed without a ruling.
******
That'll be all MyLord..!!