..seems not so far away with its memories vividly etched in my mind. Why does a deja vu occur for each one of them? Why cant I get rid of them? Why does he still exist? I guess coz I still do and everything that is mine will.
I have always loved this song and I still do. But I still dont know why?
What happened today was not new to me. It was like a refresher course wherein you know everything already but are just hazy on the details. And it becomes a drag sometimes and invariably takes you back to the first time you learnt it all. Not always is it a good feeling. Stuck am I? Not really, I say.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Rose Petals
Disclaimer : Its a very off post. And after much consideration, I have decided to post it. I hold no responsibility for the poor read.
And there is this one person who has stormed in. Only a couple of meetings. The internet age has taken its toll on the girl. With an eye for rightly judging people, she stands miffed and confused with the nature and characteristic of this stranger in her life. But hey! They are both grown-ups and know exactly what they want and what they are headed for. Just a little fun in life. No one is bothered about relationships and commitments and truthfulness. Its all about just having some fun and excitement.
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"Am I too conservative and old in my thinking? I still get jitters when I hear the word 'love'. Is it me in wrong here or has the word really lost its importance? I had learnt its meaning the hard way and so I hold it very close to me. I have been in this awkward situation a number of times and it is generally followed by an awkward silence wherein I am just figuring out how one can love someone in just a couple of meetings!! But then he says so.
Some say this word is just hyped too much and I wouldn't disagree. It so is. I think I need to grow up a little more and like my friend just take the usage more casually than otherwise. And as far as no reciprocation is expected, it should be cool..!!"
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This new guy is keeping the girl occupied. There is suddenly so much excitement in her life. The wait is sweet.. sweeter than she expected it to be. But ignorance here is not bliss and she cannot stand it. His lack of involvement scares her sometimes, but then she is not looking for a camaraderie here. Sheer fun is her motto.
Is it? Does she even know what she is getting into. She always ends it all in a mess with one less person as her 'admirer'. But I guess the journey is worth the disastrous end. And this time she is trying a new approach altogether. All the best to her.
And there is this one person who has stormed in. Only a couple of meetings. The internet age has taken its toll on the girl. With an eye for rightly judging people, she stands miffed and confused with the nature and characteristic of this stranger in her life. But hey! They are both grown-ups and know exactly what they want and what they are headed for. Just a little fun in life. No one is bothered about relationships and commitments and truthfulness. Its all about just having some fun and excitement.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Am I too conservative and old in my thinking? I still get jitters when I hear the word 'love'. Is it me in wrong here or has the word really lost its importance? I had learnt its meaning the hard way and so I hold it very close to me. I have been in this awkward situation a number of times and it is generally followed by an awkward silence wherein I am just figuring out how one can love someone in just a couple of meetings!! But then he says so.
Some say this word is just hyped too much and I wouldn't disagree. It so is. I think I need to grow up a little more and like my friend just take the usage more casually than otherwise. And as far as no reciprocation is expected, it should be cool..!!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This new guy is keeping the girl occupied. There is suddenly so much excitement in her life. The wait is sweet.. sweeter than she expected it to be. But ignorance here is not bliss and she cannot stand it. His lack of involvement scares her sometimes, but then she is not looking for a camaraderie here. Sheer fun is her motto.
Is it? Does she even know what she is getting into. She always ends it all in a mess with one less person as her 'admirer'. But I guess the journey is worth the disastrous end. And this time she is trying a new approach altogether. All the best to her.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Timeless Journey in PINK
Could I ask for a busier life? Could I ask for more travel? Could I ask for more writing? Phew.. Its been one hectic month. And this was December. Looks like I am living a black & white life. Coz this month has been an overtly prolonged vacation. A vacation that was uncalled for. I had the most amazing time when I visited home during Christmas. I wanted it. I had yearned for it. But this recent one has left me with scars. Scars that I am not sure will ever heal.
No, dont let your horses ride too far. I just got down with Chicken Pox. I'm doing fine now. Almost recovered. Thanks for asking. :)
So, its Valentine's day in a few days and I am gonna be home with Mom probably baking brownies. Thats the plan for Saturday! Not that I am complaining but I miss college days when there was more to Valentine's day than just the protest. My earliest memories take me to Junior College days when we ironically celebrated Traditional Day on 14th Feb. I remember I wore a plain pink chiffon saree. Though I hate the colour, I loved the saree. We were soon shooed out of the college as sainiks - the then guardian of the Indian culture and now the pioneers of this movement - were coming. We went to an empty house of a friend in a nearby posh locality and had the most fun. Ofcourse still in the pink saree. Then came the Rose day that we celebrated on Valentine's day in SE as a part of Addiction - our college festival. I am so proud of the way we had organised the event.It was a hit. There was so much enthusiam then for V-day celebrations. Then there was the legendary Mirchi Cola dinner and the leather pen stand the following year. And in the last year of college it was the unforgettable dinner at Le Dolce Vita with the Champaign, thermocol hearts and a lot of nervousness/excitement. It was magical. The worst evening ever turning into the most memorable one I might ever have. And there were Tulips the following year in the chill that was in SFO. Hahaha. I cannot not laugh before I type this. Coz the next year there were two bouquets of flowers from two different sources. So in one way or the other I have had some very memorable V-day moments. I think I might just have a unique one this year too. I hope my brownies bake well.
This year there is suddenly such an uproar. I am very happy and content. Atleast people are waking up. If there are people who are willing to decide for us, then there are also people who are willing to decide things for them. I like the idea of the Panther Party in Delhi. Pepper sprays and Judo Karate specialists to round the streets. But I really cannot fathom the idea of the Pink Chaddi Campaign. I am surely with them, however unrealistic they might be, as far as they are fighting the cause. But I dont just get it. Why? Whats the point? But hey...lots think it might help. So it might just. Wouldnt cost me too much. Just some for the cheap PINK chaddis.
www.thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com
I am suddenly in a lull in my life. I really have NOTHING to do. Infact, I CANNOT do anything. I am not allowed to. So, I am talkin to people. On phone, online and whichever way possible. I suddenly like people. I have yet again started to like to socialise. But the sad part is I look like such a mouse right now that it is not really the right time for me to go in the direction that I am intending to. Sigh!! I now understand what Aboli felt once upon a time when I used to give her sermons that I hate to receive myself now. I suddenly am in love with everyone. And I like it. :)
Good night.
No, dont let your horses ride too far. I just got down with Chicken Pox. I'm doing fine now. Almost recovered. Thanks for asking. :)
So, its Valentine's day in a few days and I am gonna be home with Mom probably baking brownies. Thats the plan for Saturday! Not that I am complaining but I miss college days when there was more to Valentine's day than just the protest. My earliest memories take me to Junior College days when we ironically celebrated Traditional Day on 14th Feb. I remember I wore a plain pink chiffon saree. Though I hate the colour, I loved the saree. We were soon shooed out of the college as sainiks - the then guardian of the Indian culture and now the pioneers of this movement - were coming. We went to an empty house of a friend in a nearby posh locality and had the most fun. Ofcourse still in the pink saree. Then came the Rose day that we celebrated on Valentine's day in SE as a part of Addiction - our college festival. I am so proud of the way we had organised the event.It was a hit. There was so much enthusiam then for V-day celebrations. Then there was the legendary Mirchi Cola dinner and the leather pen stand the following year. And in the last year of college it was the unforgettable dinner at Le Dolce Vita with the Champaign, thermocol hearts and a lot of nervousness/excitement. It was magical. The worst evening ever turning into the most memorable one I might ever have. And there were Tulips the following year in the chill that was in SFO. Hahaha. I cannot not laugh before I type this. Coz the next year there were two bouquets of flowers from two different sources. So in one way or the other I have had some very memorable V-day moments. I think I might just have a unique one this year too. I hope my brownies bake well.
This year there is suddenly such an uproar. I am very happy and content. Atleast people are waking up. If there are people who are willing to decide for us, then there are also people who are willing to decide things for them. I like the idea of the Panther Party in Delhi. Pepper sprays and Judo Karate specialists to round the streets. But I really cannot fathom the idea of the Pink Chaddi Campaign. I am surely with them, however unrealistic they might be, as far as they are fighting the cause. But I dont just get it. Why? Whats the point? But hey...lots think it might help. So it might just. Wouldnt cost me too much. Just some for the cheap PINK chaddis.
www.thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com
I am suddenly in a lull in my life. I really have NOTHING to do. Infact, I CANNOT do anything. I am not allowed to. So, I am talkin to people. On phone, online and whichever way possible. I suddenly like people. I have yet again started to like to socialise. But the sad part is I look like such a mouse right now that it is not really the right time for me to go in the direction that I am intending to. Sigh!! I now understand what Aboli felt once upon a time when I used to give her sermons that I hate to receive myself now. I suddenly am in love with everyone. And I like it. :)
Good night.
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Long and Winding Road
...and I have played with bubbles for a long time... just that they dont last too long...!!
Never thought I'd see light at the end of the tunnel. But then faith is what that keeps you going. Faith faltered me. There is in fact no light at the end of the tunnel. But then I liked the journey. It was worth the experience.
And I love that song. Haven't heard it in a while. Guess some are made for just the right time.. like NOW.
Gnite.
Never thought I'd see light at the end of the tunnel. But then faith is what that keeps you going. Faith faltered me. There is in fact no light at the end of the tunnel. But then I liked the journey. It was worth the experience.
And I love that song. Haven't heard it in a while. Guess some are made for just the right time.. like NOW.
Gnite.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Standing Tall in Heels
I don't like the beginnings and I also don't like the endings. I am apprehensive about the beginnings and am sad about the endings. Can things not remain the way they are? And if they can, then for how long? We all know and agree that Change is inevitable. And how much ever I hate to agree, Change is necessary. Isn't it? It was this force that drove me out of Pune. I loved the city and still do but the routine and the people/things involved in that routine can get to you.
I like a fast paced life. Not because it keeps me put but because only then I get to experience the charm of an autumn evening sitting at the ledge of my terrace, listening to my ipod and watching the reflection of the setting sun on the park below. Coz in a fast paced life such times are rare and they are enjoyable coz they are rare. A person living in the countryside doesn't really appreciate it as much as a city person. I love the countryside. Have I ever mentioned that before?
My friend is in China. This is her first visit there. It makes me reminisce about my first trip abroad-to the US of A. I started this blog much later and never got to write about it and so never did. But probably I couldnt pen down what I felt. I could never do justice to that trip if I wrote. I am not such a good writer, you see. My flight over ther Pacific, the rocky seabed of San Francisco and the grand airport-nothing has yet fazed out and it has been two years!! That was the awesomest trip and the most memorable new years - ice skating at downtown SFO with the firecrackers up the Bay Bridge. My peers, my wallet full of dollars, Safeway and Wal-mart, Vegas, LA, towering high red coloured Golden Gate Bridge and not to forget the much less credited Half Moon Bay made my trip the awesomest ever. I see I have used the not-a-word 'awesomest' twice, but there isnt a better word in my vocabulary to describe what I felt. It was one of my most fulfilling experience as a travel freak. I wonder why do I call myself that. I havent really travelled that much per say. But I love it and I will. Well, coming back to her, I wish she enjoys her trip thoroughly. I and, I assume, she too live on ideas. We like the idea of doing something and we do it. I liked the idea of having a hot mug of coffee-so I started having it and liking it although at one point of time I used to not. I know she has always wanted to be on her own and travel and experience and I hope she does just that and nothing more and nothing less.
Friends. Mystery. Weird. Faith. Lots of tears. Coffee. Talk about Boys. Talk about Girls. Clothes. And now shoes. This and much more is what I relate to friends. I have had some really awesome people in my life and I cannot be more thankful. Somehow even though there have been 'friends' who have given me the hardest times of my life, I still am thankfull that they were there coz without them I would have stood where I was years back and not moved. Mom, parents, family have been the pillars to help me stay grounded but friends have taken me ahead. I just finished watching the last episode of the last season of Sex and the City. I like the friendship there. Its not judgemental, its not interfering but yet its there for you always. You are not compelled to tell everything to the other person and even if you do you are not judged. We, in India, are always judging people. We call it a society and we live by its Norms. But if I may ask, who makes this society? Don't we? Then why try and please ourselves with something we don't like?
Scene 1 - A guy and a girl on a park bench --> I saw Mrs Khanna's daughter on the PARK BENCH with a BOY. It was very dark. I dont know what they were doing. But I always had my doubts on that girl. Mrs Khanna gives too much of freedom to her daughter.
Scene 2 - A bunch of girls in a pub --> you know my son saw Mrs Khanna's daughter in the BEER BAR. They were 3-4 girls. How could parents allow girls to go to SUCH a place so late in the NIGHT all ALONE.
Scene 3 - A guy smoking near a tapri --> I saw Mrs Khanna's son SMOKING on the road. He looked so awaara. His jeans were so low as if they were gonna fall.
and many more like this. Why are we judging so much...?? I have been on a godforsaken PARK BENCH with a guy, coz all the coffee shops were full. And sometimes even coz I got bhutta there.
Well, this whole post is inspired by Sex and the City. I hated the damn thing when I started to watch it and I continued to do so coz I had really nothing better downloaded to watch. I never though I was cut for it. A serial about Sex, how lame could that get? But I liked it. Takes a lot for me to accept it here. But, hey I did. What I didn't like was Carrie Bradshaw. She was lame.
These days I am putting an extra effort to be positive. Someone told me that I used to once upon a time. And its a good thing right!! And I had it!! So why lose it? I don't like being optimistic but I sure can be positive.
I like a fast paced life. Not because it keeps me put but because only then I get to experience the charm of an autumn evening sitting at the ledge of my terrace, listening to my ipod and watching the reflection of the setting sun on the park below. Coz in a fast paced life such times are rare and they are enjoyable coz they are rare. A person living in the countryside doesn't really appreciate it as much as a city person. I love the countryside. Have I ever mentioned that before?
My friend is in China. This is her first visit there. It makes me reminisce about my first trip abroad-to the US of A. I started this blog much later and never got to write about it and so never did. But probably I couldnt pen down what I felt. I could never do justice to that trip if I wrote. I am not such a good writer, you see. My flight over ther Pacific, the rocky seabed of San Francisco and the grand airport-nothing has yet fazed out and it has been two years!! That was the awesomest trip and the most memorable new years - ice skating at downtown SFO with the firecrackers up the Bay Bridge. My peers, my wallet full of dollars, Safeway and Wal-mart, Vegas, LA, towering high red coloured Golden Gate Bridge and not to forget the much less credited Half Moon Bay made my trip the awesomest ever. I see I have used the not-a-word 'awesomest' twice, but there isnt a better word in my vocabulary to describe what I felt. It was one of my most fulfilling experience as a travel freak. I wonder why do I call myself that. I havent really travelled that much per say. But I love it and I will. Well, coming back to her, I wish she enjoys her trip thoroughly. I and, I assume, she too live on ideas. We like the idea of doing something and we do it. I liked the idea of having a hot mug of coffee-so I started having it and liking it although at one point of time I used to not. I know she has always wanted to be on her own and travel and experience and I hope she does just that and nothing more and nothing less.
Friends. Mystery. Weird. Faith. Lots of tears. Coffee. Talk about Boys. Talk about Girls. Clothes. And now shoes. This and much more is what I relate to friends. I have had some really awesome people in my life and I cannot be more thankful. Somehow even though there have been 'friends' who have given me the hardest times of my life, I still am thankfull that they were there coz without them I would have stood where I was years back and not moved. Mom, parents, family have been the pillars to help me stay grounded but friends have taken me ahead. I just finished watching the last episode of the last season of Sex and the City. I like the friendship there. Its not judgemental, its not interfering but yet its there for you always. You are not compelled to tell everything to the other person and even if you do you are not judged. We, in India, are always judging people. We call it a society and we live by its Norms. But if I may ask, who makes this society? Don't we? Then why try and please ourselves with something we don't like?
Scene 1 - A guy and a girl on a park bench --> I saw Mrs Khanna's daughter on the PARK BENCH with a BOY. It was very dark. I dont know what they were doing. But I always had my doubts on that girl. Mrs Khanna gives too much of freedom to her daughter.
Scene 2 - A bunch of girls in a pub --> you know my son saw Mrs Khanna's daughter in the BEER BAR. They were 3-4 girls. How could parents allow girls to go to SUCH a place so late in the NIGHT all ALONE.
Scene 3 - A guy smoking near a tapri --> I saw Mrs Khanna's son SMOKING on the road. He looked so awaara. His jeans were so low as if they were gonna fall.
and many more like this. Why are we judging so much...?? I have been on a godforsaken PARK BENCH with a guy, coz all the coffee shops were full. And sometimes even coz I got bhutta there.
Well, this whole post is inspired by Sex and the City. I hated the damn thing when I started to watch it and I continued to do so coz I had really nothing better downloaded to watch. I never though I was cut for it. A serial about Sex, how lame could that get? But I liked it. Takes a lot for me to accept it here. But, hey I did. What I didn't like was Carrie Bradshaw. She was lame.
These days I am putting an extra effort to be positive. Someone told me that I used to once upon a time. And its a good thing right!! And I had it!! So why lose it? I don't like being optimistic but I sure can be positive.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
High on LiFe
He did it in style. Style that is peculiar to him. Anticipation had left me very troubled till I saw him take charge his way. I am all smiles now. I know him and I should have known what followed. Nice people do nice things and nice people deserve nice things.
Yet there are things I could tell myself and feel sorry for nice people in question, but I wont. I am happy as it is and HiGh On LiFe.
*****
Too much of Sex and the City has converted the remaining half of me into a typical woman. For one, my ever increasing urge to shop. I like to shop when I need to shop, mostly because I never have enough money to splurge on things for which I don't have space to store. It is definitely not a mood lifter for me. But it's no more the same. I was a clothes girl. I loved them. All kinds. And now I want shoes!! I couldn't care less of what I wore on my feet as far as they were comfortable and I could walk. Further, I don't have a sweet tooth and I don't drool over chocolates, cheese cakes and brownies. Its been a month of watching this darned series and I can't get enough of any of these and more. I should be hitting the gym instead, but the characters indulge into these every time they undergo a break-up. I indulge in them without even a reason. Once I get a place of my own and my own oven/microwave I am going to make brownies. And I know I'll do a fine job at that.
*****
Suddenly the cooking lady in me has woken up and she makes some yummy stuff. Its been a year of cooking for a person who Hated to enter the kitchen. She'd stay without food than ever enter the kitchen. It's different now. Though I would love to experiment than just make the regular khana, our kitchen (shared by 7) with its limited space doesn't allow me to.
*****
I have a hundred things to do. My To Do list couldn't have been longer. But I know I'll work it out. My earlier post 'Closure' is really working for me.
*****
Its a funny routine that I have noticed on my blog. People read and comment and talk much more about posts related to life, feelings and other abstract things. But when I have a thought provoking post there are hardly any takers. Why? More so, the anonymous comments are ever increasing on my blog. Not the right time for me talk about this though :). But why do we want to be anonymous at times? I know, for one, when you don't want the person to know that you visited. And I cant think of more. But why wouldn't you want the person to know that you visited? Because it will flatter him? Or because if your identity is known then there is likely to be a biased reply from the author of the blog? Is it just limited to blogging? Don't we wish at times we were powered to anonymously walk around the entire city? Where you could be yourself and not judged. Yes, its easy to say that one shouldn't care about people's judgements and I couldn't agree more. I don't not care at all, but I sure do far less than others in comparision. But, coming back to the point, don't we all want to be anonymous at times?
But not on my blog...
Yet there are things I could tell myself and feel sorry for nice people in question, but I wont. I am happy as it is and HiGh On LiFe.
*****
Too much of Sex and the City has converted the remaining half of me into a typical woman. For one, my ever increasing urge to shop. I like to shop when I need to shop, mostly because I never have enough money to splurge on things for which I don't have space to store. It is definitely not a mood lifter for me. But it's no more the same. I was a clothes girl. I loved them. All kinds. And now I want shoes!! I couldn't care less of what I wore on my feet as far as they were comfortable and I could walk. Further, I don't have a sweet tooth and I don't drool over chocolates, cheese cakes and brownies. Its been a month of watching this darned series and I can't get enough of any of these and more. I should be hitting the gym instead, but the characters indulge into these every time they undergo a break-up. I indulge in them without even a reason. Once I get a place of my own and my own oven/microwave I am going to make brownies. And I know I'll do a fine job at that.
*****
Suddenly the cooking lady in me has woken up and she makes some yummy stuff. Its been a year of cooking for a person who Hated to enter the kitchen. She'd stay without food than ever enter the kitchen. It's different now. Though I would love to experiment than just make the regular khana, our kitchen (shared by 7) with its limited space doesn't allow me to.
*****
I have a hundred things to do. My To Do list couldn't have been longer. But I know I'll work it out. My earlier post 'Closure' is really working for me.
*****
Its a funny routine that I have noticed on my blog. People read and comment and talk much more about posts related to life, feelings and other abstract things. But when I have a thought provoking post there are hardly any takers. Why? More so, the anonymous comments are ever increasing on my blog. Not the right time for me talk about this though :). But why do we want to be anonymous at times? I know, for one, when you don't want the person to know that you visited. And I cant think of more. But why wouldn't you want the person to know that you visited? Because it will flatter him? Or because if your identity is known then there is likely to be a biased reply from the author of the blog? Is it just limited to blogging? Don't we wish at times we were powered to anonymously walk around the entire city? Where you could be yourself and not judged. Yes, its easy to say that one shouldn't care about people's judgements and I couldn't agree more. I don't not care at all, but I sure do far less than others in comparision. But, coming back to the point, don't we all want to be anonymous at times?
But not on my blog...
Friday, October 24, 2008
Moment
I couldn't have been more sorry about anything in my entire life than what I did today, just now. Anger, aggressiveness and thoughtless speaking & writing has always put me in worst of the situations and I cannot face what I did just now.
How I wish I could disappear in the thin air or just melt or somehow become anonymous.
Screw the technology and I wish he ain't aware of it...but I only wish. Screw me.
Shit!! Shit!! Shit!!
How I wish I could disappear in the thin air or just melt or somehow become anonymous.
Screw the technology and I wish he ain't aware of it...but I only wish. Screw me.
Shit!! Shit!! Shit!!