Resilience

And.. its yet another new year. Another year has gone whooshing by. I have never been so lost and unaware of myself. There had come a point in time few years back when I had decided that I will stop trying to know myself. Coz it was a mystery, almost like a treasure hunt, and it tortured me as I never felt anywhere close to the treasure trunk. The more I tried to solve the mystery, the more I felt I was drifting away from knowing myself. And I decided to not try any further. Thought this to be the best approach as a little mystery in life is always good. Guys like a mysterious girl, dont they? :)

But NO. I aint no guy. And I need to be aware of what I want, what I intend to do, what my aim is and all that. I am a girl with plans. I always have plans. Yes, I love spontaneity. But then again, if it is well planned. How is it that this time.. in this new year... I am lost! I thought of a new year resolution. But I was so distant from myself that I didnt even know what I wanted. In 25 years, I saw my first shooting star. It was beautiful :) But I didnt wish for anything. I didnt know what to wish for. There are, at this juncture in my life, so many things that are of importance. But I cant prioritize. I am being trained to be a manager.. and I cannot prioritize my own life. What am I getting at?

*Oh at that.. some people believe that I talk about my MBA so often coz I want the world to know. But I have never before enjoyed learning as much as I do in my MBA program. I hate finance, Yes. But thats about it. So yeah, I will continue to talk about it.*

So I am still lost. But right now all I know is that I need to show some resilience. Be what I always was and always have been and always will love to be. At this my mom reminded me of her favorite dialog from Jab We Met - I love myself and I am my favorite.

I am not going to allow myself to succumb to the nincompoops that are around me. It is staggeringly difficult though. I thought I could. It was 10 days into the new years with such strong thoughts in my mind and I messed up again. I couldn't do it. But to not give up is what I am aiming at. There you go... ! My new year resolution - To not give up.

Cheesy man.. these resolutions are..but I am reviving a lot of old things. Lets try this one too. And not to forget - Garima, be good to everyone. How much ever you need to fake it, still be good. Thats what the world wants. A flatterer-backbiter friend rather than a true-on the face foe. Although I choose otherwise, the world doesn't and you need to FIT in. Don't you?

Bawra mann

Orey manva tu to bavra hai

Tu hi jaane tu kya sochta hai bavre

Kyun dikhaye sapne tu sote jaagte
Jo barse sapne boond boond
Nainon ko moond moond
Kaise main chaloon, dekh na sakoon
Anjaane raastein

	www.amusingfungama.com - Iktara .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Need I say more? Its new years! Till about 2 years back I always had new year resolutions. I think its time to renew that habit of mine. Didnt help much, but atleast I tried and it gave me a reason to have some hope.. some faith.. in Myself..

I love this song. After a long time have heard a song that can make me cry and yearn for more everytime I listen to it :-)

And on this note, to start something afresh, here's a new look to my blog. I believe its refreshing and at the same time has some substance.

Value Proposition

As my awesome marketing professor says.. "You cant try and be everything to everyone.. You have got to target the right market segment and give them the most beneficial value proposition". Ain't that true for life and people in general? Isn't world a marketplace with customers, buyers and suppliers all trying to minimize their costs and maximize their profits. Nobody wants to get hurt and be sad. They all aim to fly high and with high profit margins and a good product.

The key, as now learnt in my marketing class, is to target one and only one segment. Straddling will give you the worse of both the segments. Your product might be the best for one certain set of people, but the worst for the other set. And you cannot, rather should not, try and be useful to them coz you will lose your loyal customer set. Can I not see that apply to me? I very much can! I am not a product like salt. People dont care much about its brand. Also there isn't too much loyalty as most of such products have the same feature - iodine content, free flow etc. and customers couldnt care less which brand they pick up. People are indifferent towards such products. But I am a product like a Absolut Vodka - a very niche market. People who like it, love it. People who dont like it or dont drink alcohol cannot stand it! I could also at the same time be PanParag - people who like it, love it. People who dont, dont!

Should I care about what these certain set of other people think about me. Like for right now, I know there is a set of people who will mock this entire post! They would attribute it to bad analogy, kiddish behaviour, overthinking etc. Should I bother about them? I say No. Id go with my marketing professor.

But then the question comes to How big is this market segment that I am targeting. Is it big enough for me to make enough profits to sustain in the market? Right! So rather than worrying about the other market segments, I should worry about mine and advertise more here. But I must say the temptation to have the largest market share is huge, but I should curb it and focus on profit making. That should be my strategy. So going ahead, I should switch the strategy from 'growing market share' to 'increase in profits'.

Cheers! to the new strategy. Lets get to work!

Pet Peeve

I cannot stand people who make 'a lot of noise' while they eat. And here I know this girl who I have to spend a lot of my time with, makes like a shit loads of noise while eating. Is she crazy? Is she dumb? Does she not understand what she is doing. I cant even come to tell how loud she is when she is eating. And to top it all, there is food in her hair, all around her plate on the table.. And there are guys who like that.. !! God save the world.. So much so for looking pretty and the giggle power.. !!

Tere bina..

:) Surprising.. why I remember all those things so distinctly.. But this was one of them. Was listening to this song today.. and couldnt help but go back in time.. hehe... So cheesy.. :)

In the wrong...?..even at 25?

Will I ever be able to conquer my insecurities and errors? Is there ever a new start? Is there light at the end of the tunnel? In the midst of all this why do I get caught up in the nothingness of things. I have always wanted a simple straight forward path to follow, but surprisingly when I am involved I dont really let things be so simple and straight forward. I cant expect myself to own! I cant own everything!

Why do people like me? They never have an asnwer. They never do! Is that a problem? Or is it too good to be true? Am I too submissive? Most people will never agree to that, but I do think and know that beneath the superficial layer, I am quite vulnerable. Am I revealing too much? Is this information even true? I am just zapped and confused. I always have been. And there isnt anybody I trust enough to give me a good feedback.

We are learning about feedbacks in our OB class. And Kinicki says that giving a good feedback is the skill most managers fail to master and this is the problem most companies are facing. THIS is the problem? I thought economic recession was the problem. Looks like not!

I see it in their eyes. But I dont know why they dont behave like that. Or may be I dont perceive their behaviour in the right direction. They appreciate what is not me so much that it makes me jealous. Yes, I am being very truthful in saying that it does get me very jealous. Is it really that wrong to be jealous? I remember soemone telling me that jealousy is a vice and will always make one do wrong things. Like how anger makes one take bad decisions. But then how can one not be jealous? Is it a possibililty? Are there people who have never been jealous of anything? Or they probably just call it something better and fancy?

First impression is the most important impression. First impression lasts forever. But what after first impression? ....what after an amazingly awesome first impression? What do you do now? Anticiaption kills me here. Am I asking the opposite question? But that is what I am ineffective in doing.

I hate her. She is all fidgety, giggly, pretty, and pink. She is a girl.. rather in my terms a girlie girl. Cant stand her. And dont go by her looks, she is cunning. Probably the girl that most guys fantasize about but at the same time curse in their bachelorette party coz of how she used them. She is the reason why I detest being friends with a girl. Shrewd, diplomatic, political and a bitch is how I would perceive her. I have NEVER opposed anyone so strongly. I have opinions but they never have been of such extreme nature. But she is an exception. Or have I unnecessarily given her so much importance? Am I dumb?.. or insecure? But for what?.. For who..? Sometimes I just cant stand myself. Am I being too hard on myself? Does this happen to most?

I think of him still. I read what he writes and everytime...let me reiterate... everytime I feel that he writes for me. Just kinda a feel good factor. He was my foundation and the most important, visible, and well etched person in my memory. Good luck to him. He deserves the best.
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Secluded from the above description of my thoughts, I would make a mention of my birthday. It was the most awesome bday. Thanks to everyone who made it this special. And surprisingly, these were people... err .. friends that I was still getting to know. And even more surprisingly, people who I expected to make it special, only ruined it. Irony.. eh? Or wrong expectations? My analysis says that the solution of all my problems are unmet expectations. But I have never really conquered this approach.
But my 25th bday was a time to remember and I will remember it for a long long time.

Adios.

Strategic Balance

Disclaimer: This post comes at a time when I am dead sleepy but cant sleep coz I have to complete a Stratgy chapter which talks of how people cheat, fancily called opportunism, and how it can hurt you, called costs of opportunism.

(I have had a disclaimer on few of my posts. These are those times when I write coz I am either frustrated, or lazy, or sleepy, or just not in a mood to write. So it might not be a good read, but then I never asked you to read.)

And life can get to you. This post comes as such a contrast to my last one. So much so for a change... and in just three months. Life is the complete opposite of what I had been living in the last 6 months and that probably being the reason for me losing the CFF tag I had and not living upto my set standards. But I am really enjoying it. Its same in many ways but yet so different.

My travel here had an element of excitement because of the Europe trip. That was one helluva trip! I dont even want to get into writing a post explaining it; there is just too much to talk about and too much to not talk about (wink..wink). But coming here and starting a new life freaked me out much less than my shifting to Bangalore for work had. Anticipation wasnt killing me and I was surprised why.

Americans, their culture, their accent, their snootiness and all that:
Wasnt so bad afterall. I dont want to sound like a know-it-all person (in many ways I do and sorry about that) but it didnt take me time or effort to understand them. They are same as Indians in almost all respects. One cant talk about smoking up with them, neither can one wear plunging necklines without people looking, one cant swear, one will get looks if one drinks and gets too excited and etc etc. They are just the same, its just that..probably.. their percentage of open minded people is slightly higher than India. And Indians in the US, abso-fuckin-lutely crazy. The other day I went for Dandiya and I would have had a 100 times better crowd in some sad Pune dandiya than what I had here. Do ABCDs (as my roommates and a lot of others call them) forget to 'get dressed' when they come here and think that everything is cool.

And people have a universal problem with me being outspoken. Some love it, some like it, some outrightly hate it. And the proportion of Indians and Americans who have these opinions remain the same! I thought there was more accpetance here, but I should have known that they have never had a woman Prez whereas India has had!

Some Americans consider me hot/beautiful/super-cool. Good to know that. It always gives me energy to be good to people. I can be very mean sometimes!

Friends:
People are all good. They are not extraordinary, but they are the ones that I can relate to. I dont feel like a dumb chick among them. Indian crowd is kind of a shame. Everyone is amazingly sweet, but I expected something better out of a b-school crowd. I am single, you see. I have different perspectives.

Home:
I avoid being home. I love the graduate suite. Its the common area for the b school graduates, almost like a lounge area. Its awesome fun. Everyone is discussing the same thing and everyone is going crazy! And yes, there are more reasons why I avoid being home!
My roommate sleeps at 9:30 and gets up at 5. Beats Me.. !

Oh that reminds me of one of my professors.. Boatsman.. ! Awesome fella. If it wasnt for him I would have never understood how to manage GOBS of money that I am hoping to make after my MBA! haha.. For better understanding of the legend, click here.

All in all, I am living the same life, just a lot more busier. And I am not complaining. With the setting that I am in, I wouldnt have wanted to be free. Education here is awesome. I really like my school as it gives me the opportunity to be visible and stand out. I am hoping to not let the energy die down and make the most of it.

Adios! Till the next post which will not be published anytime soon.