Like Father Like Husband

Sometimes you are in a trance in life. You blame it on your busy schedule or that you have been getting less sleep or that you may have been sexually abused (that’s more trauma but I’ll explain more). In the context of this post trance is a feeling beyond one’s comprehension. Where the world seems to move without your control – well that it does every second – but in this case your nearest controllable targets are sort of playing hide and seek or rather a game of roulette where it seems like you are betting on chance. In short – when things are sort of (only sort of) out of your control. Your mind plays tricks and tells you that you could control it. You also create situations that may make you believe that you do in-fact control it. But no, you don’t. And that’s the truth. Take it or leave it.

Yes. Take it or leave it. You cant fix it, You cant work it. You can barely understand it. But you must make a decision.

 

I have never felt this out of control. And people who know me know that that’s a scary weird-ass thought. And the even funny bit is that its not another strong force that’s fighting me on it. It’s the subtleness of a little puppy or a new-born child (not like I would know either of those feelings.. but using public opinion for the same). Its how my Dad convinced my Mom to buy a 2 lakh computer in 1997. It was completely out of blue, most irrelevant, and audacious purchase. Its how he convinced my Mom to buy a 1 cr house in 2010. He believes in God or himself or just takes a leap of faith – whatever it is, he has a power over Mom like no other. But trust me if you see them together you will know The Boss. They say girls seek husbands like their father and boys seek wives like their mother. On this day of my father’s 60^th Bday, I submissively agree to believe that I would be blessed to have found a husband like him. And I think I am beginning to acknowledge this feeling of trance. :)

Apna time aayega..

Of the many things in life you see, experience, feel.. only a few leave a noticeable impression on you. Movies are a genre that often find a relatable spot and leave such an impression. Gully Boy is one such movie of the recent times that touched me in a way that is not only relatable but also made me appreciate the pure craft that is film-making. Ranveer Singh as Murad is flawless. His adamance to be hopeful reminds me of myself. I am reminded to value the hope and whim which with I have lived my life thus far. No one has time for disappointment. I am too busy being eager :).

But then again, the innocence of his relationship with Safeena reminded me of one of mine - full of deep understanding, growth, and habituation. A world without it didnt seem to exist. Well that bubble broke too soon. Hehe. But the thing to note was that a life beyond habituation was possible. I am living it and its beautiful. There is more clarity of self and that of the world around me.

I wonder sometimes how a cricket World Cup, a movie, a coffee, a Thank You note, etc can change your perspective and hence your life in many ways. Some moments are defining. Its amazing when there is someone else who feels these moments with you. The surreal sense of depth and comfort in those moments is unparalleled. Its like a ray of sun on your face on a beautiful summer day - its almost enlightening. So are those shared moments. But sometimes .. just sometimes .. there is magic in your own company and sharing those moments just with yourself... reflecting on the big fat awesome life you have led. For example: only yesterday a friend shared a pic of a reunion with friends from 11 years ago. Its a blessing to note how far the two of us have come among the 11 that met.

A rolling stone gathers no moss

Damn it. Did I stop rolling! 

Dun matter. Apna time aayega :)