re:introduction

Hi.

My name is G. 

And Im loving it. :)

its the walks and the talks..
the wines and the dines..
the rain and of course the pain..
but its good. its all good.
green finally looks like green and the wisdom is chasing after me.
who would have thought that a summer followed by a fall could lead to spring..
the lights and the flights..
the routes and the doubts..
the dogs and their barks..
and the sun... oh the sun.. with its gleaming ray..
Im happy to meet you once again.
a home so beautiful..so own..
a sense of pride and accomplishment it hones.
true beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
its time..its time for it to beheld.

Too much or too little

It's amazing when your friends start speaking for you. Its amazing when you discover that they might just know you better than you know yourself. It's a scary feeling. But this is a bell curve with their confidence on the x-axis and the correctness of the truth on the y. As their confidence increases in their ability to predict your reactions, at some point in the bell curve which is after the peak they start stating things that are so not true. But their confidence is at an all time high and they vouch to know you better than you know yourself when you argue with them about the truth.

I had a friend who hated it when her friends said, "oh I know you! I know why you said that or did that." it could be that she was just hiding the truth and didnt want to accept it or it could also be that her friends had crosse the peak of the bell curve. The scary thing about this situation is tht neither you not your friends know when the peak is crossed. It gets out with time and the more time it takes to get out in the open the more risky your reputation gets with all those comments your friends have already made.

Humph!! I wish there was an easy way out.

It's heart wrenching to see your friend argue and fight with you to keep the sanctity of his statements especially when he is at the lower right corner of the bell curve. His confidence is still high and all that time that lapse between the peak and the lower corer has not been enough for him to see that he is losing ground. By then you have known of course coz ud be hating urself already if not. He struggles to be your friend by telling all these awful things about you that aren't you. Btw: they are awful not coz he is being mean but they come out to be awful coz it's not you.

On a side note, it's so good to not hate. It's such a great feeling to forgive and let go.

Im smitten! Its been so long that I have felt this way. :)

But the world doesnt seem a better place. This feeling is scary as hell at this point in time.. in this circumstance. 

Cool quotient

I realized I dont have an opinion anymore.. Is that really sad?
psst.. Am I going to be a boring 30 year old in the near future? I wanted to be cool. Is it un-cool to not have opinions?

A child's play

I thought I didnt like kids.. But I have been babysitting for 10 years now!!

A read

Now I am not too much of a reader and thus the task of choosing a book to read become mighty difficult. The choice process has to hit the absolutely perfect book and this cannot miss the target, else the book will be dusted more often than read. Through the process of elimination, I have realized that I dont like fictions. I dont know how absolutely true that is but if the book is absolutely situational and has no true setting or substance to it I lose interest. I give myself the "i have better things to do in my life than read someone else's idea of someone else's life who didnt exist". Very cynical, I must say, but still true. And I am no one to talk books. Its like the little 4 year olds who I detest because they come to me with that humor that says "you didnt even know that!!". Yeaa... Hell ya.. YOU little boy, 3 inches off the ground... you dont know how it really works... ! Well, thats my guards up to little kids who try to outsmart me. And I am just like that when it comes to books.

But I truly want to be very careful. I dont want to chose a book too optimistic that makes me feel bad about where I stand today, and I dont want the book to be too pessimistic that makes me feel that there is no hope. Travel and history being my fav topics, they both can be so super awesome or absolutely a drag. I think I will delve into Marketing for a change. Marketing for dummies!! I like kindle coz then I dont have to hold the book in my hand as that and look dumb. I can still sit in Starbucks with my fav cup of coffee and read. That reminds me, Starbucks has totally done away with the whole "cup of coffee" feel. Where are the cups!!

Culprit

Have you ever wished that u meet with an accident and break your leg in the hope that atleast someone with sympathize with you then may be!

Dr. Strangelove

Today's learnings:

- Strange how two posts one after the other reference the same person and perception but in totally differently light.

- Men will always be boys.

- How one meeting can change so much in your life. One interview, one date, one phone call, one conversation and your life changes from what it could have been. Sometimes its a life changing turn, sometimes its just a different outcome to the evening. Both still good. :)

- One bad thing always and always leads to another good thing. Have faith.

- Seattle o Seattle. It squirms. Networking - Thumbs up. Dating - Thumbs down.

- Oh.. and strange people like strange movies. I guess thats the road to coolness. Hehe.

- On a different note, I saw Jeff B. No No. Didnt talk to him, didnt shake his hands, just saw him. Pretty cool still. He is leaner than what I thought he would be.

- We made a Guinness World Record of maximum kazoos in a room. What I learnt? that Kazoo is crazzzzy...

- I love the baby that just walked past me. I can bite her pink cheeks out.

- Beautiful mornings can do so much good to you.

What I havent learnt:

- Answer to Are men dumb?

- What does a man want?

- Why pay for Mix Master Mike when you dont get to hear him play for more than 10 mins?

- Why did I order a Double Chocolate muffin over a less chocolaty scone.. !!!?!!

- Why do people make queues to board the plane? They are not going to get a better seat or get in any faster?

- Why did I not get a call? I expected more. I respected more.

Deep sigh! A Smile! All is well!

A naked Woman

And such is a woman's body. Truly poetic. Truly inspirational. And then we have the younger idiotic younger generation that tries to play around with that image and make woman what she is not - a statue!

The little flab on the tummy, the slightly sagging boobs (umm.. coz they are real), the oblong buttocks (no they are not round and juicy). Love a man who can appreciate this. So sexy that man is and so aroused he makes me. I lay naked in my thoughts ready to make love to a man who is real but who is mysterious. I want to pleasure him back.

Courtesy: the dancing women outside the Herberger Theater Center.

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

Years after I still remember Valentine's day as the day I wore the pink saree :)

Nevertheless, here is wishing a good day to everyone in Love.

The Subway Station

The many interpretations of nature and what its worth. I recently visited Roger W. Koon’s gallery in downtown SFO. A rich and beautiful culmination of his travels around the country mostly of the wild. Quite a prime location for some such new art. Of course what went through my mind was how well he must be living selling these pictures, but also how lucky was he to capture what he saw and how he saw it. Although sadly that’s not how I saw it and I was verbal about it. Standing in his space, I spoke my mind. I didn’t see what he saw; not in nearly most of his pictures. But I still was inspired to better capture my travels.. in mind, heart, or soul.

Is it Competition... or.. is it Competition?

How much is too much? Where is that end? Is there an end? What is the limit to achieving? over-achieving? or under-achieving? Delusion or dilemma? Where is the full stop? or even half a stop?

The fun of living is to always have something new to learn..to explore. The opposite of that fun is to either not bother to learn or over-learn. Is there something as over -learn? Can you burn yourself out just learning?

Although I have "3 years of work experience", I would like to treat it as negligible. With the real work that I have gotten into less than 6 months back, I have fallen prey to the very common work related problem of limits!! Where are the limits. Timings, money, social life, life at all.. et al. With the whole generation going through a similar phase, I tend to compare. There are all kinds of people. They have all either figured out what they want or are in the process or just pretend that they have. But either way I dont find myself anywhere close. I feel I dont have enough data to make the decision or rather enough choices to make that call. or Do I?

What is the ratio of the different parameters? So many variables! I struggle to find my principles as I struggle to find myself. In the rush of things of this quarter life I have lost much or just lost my vision and fail to see the gains. Oh that reminds me I might have to get reading glasses. Finally.. !! I can get a really sexy pair of glasses and can pretend to be a reader!

Seeing people whooping past you exactly making that "whooop" sound makes you wonder are you already behind? Already? But then would you switch places? Is being content a good thing or does that just make you less competitive?

How much is too much?

The Other Side

So recently two of my ex-bfs got married, one of my ex-bfs ex-gf got married and of course twenty other friends of mine tied the knot too. Its almost a cool guess game when you open facebook every morning you challenge yourself to "how many would have gotten married today" question. A recent conversation with a friend related it to the falling pins in the bowling aisle. Its true though.. ! and its scary at times.. ! Its a lot of change around to digest. The whole generation is suddenly getting married. And there will come a time when the whole generation will be popping kids. And there will be kids everywhere. There will be one popping every min.

Its also a lot of pressure. The pressure of being single in a generation that is pushing things forward. Im glad I am not the last one in this race and have friends to stand by with.

Its strange to see your ex get hooked. Its not feeling sad at all, its actually happiness for them. But you know exactly what they were looking for, what issues we faced and apparently that new girl fitted the bill correctly. Its beautiful though, really is to see them all happy and smiling in their wedding pics.

There is love in the air. :)

There is love in the air man. :)

I really appreciate those men who take the plunge and are ready to commit. Its not a man's thing to do. Most females are mentally prepared but most men are not. But when I see my good looking male friends suited up in their marriage surrounded by hoards of relatives and standing next to the plump love of their life, I really can only appreciate them. That man knows what it takes. So proud of them.

Better lives to them. Love them.