Haunted!!

Have you ever felt that your past keeps following you everywhere you go and it never lets you off? No I am not talking about the people or the associates from the past who cross your way in the present. That would be a pleasant encounter for me. I love reuniting with people I have lost in touch with. But it is absolutley scary when situations from the past are put in front of you in exactly the same form as before. Situations that you dreaded and ran away from or lost to. Situations that you swore you would never want to face. And they come to you at the time when you have almost just started to forget about them, only difference being that this time they involve people who are presently very important to you as someone was in the past and this very thing tore away all the the relationship threads that you shared with them. I dont want to face the same thing this time around as well and lose another something or someone that is precious to me. That is the scariest thing that I have ever experienced. Good or Bad.. It was my past and I am DONE with it. But I guess it is not done with me. This is worse than the feeling of deja wu because here everytime new people are involved and it doesnt last just a few moments.

And today was that day.. after a long long time that I felt numb in my feet and shivered with the realisation that I was reliving my past all over again..!!!! To see it do the dirty dance in front of my eyes in its full fury left me speechless, although I fumbled with some words which didn't make any sense to me let alone to anyone else. For those few moments I had lost sensibility to comprehend what life was presenting to me. For once and for all :

'To Dear Life - I am tired of your Satanic gifts which present my dirty past wrapped in the most colourful of the covers. You rather not give me anything than give me this. Its lot of effort to forget the dread that this act of yours leaves in me and everytime that I think I have succeeded you only get back at me with more of this wrapped in even more beautiful covers. Should I stop believing in you? I dont want to be one of those who have lost faith in Life. But you need to stop troubling me.'

Well does life get any better

More yesterday than today

How I thought the sun would shine tomorrow

But it rained . . .

Any takers for Flattery?

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" is attributed to Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832). But we still are unaware of the context in which this was said. Was it said with the flatterer in mind or the one being flattered. As far as my experience goes its only the one being imitated who gets to bear a smile as he witnesses his ideas, his thoughts, his style and his originality being stolen..oh did I say stolen? I am sorry, "imitated" it is. Ah! keep the crap aside. This is no imitation. Not acknowledging the genius of someone who dared to think otherwise and not crediting him for something which has caught the eye of many does not refer to imitation. This is stealing.

"So?? Imitation or stealing, I dont care. It sells. I get noticed and become popular." - say many who are on the other side of the court. They say he was foolish enough to not have fully utilized his capacity. "If he wanted he could have done what I am doing. But he didnt. He lost it. His loss was my gain. You see talent never gets wasted. It just gets credited to people who deserve it."

There are some things that I am good at and its nice to see people imitate me or emulate me as far as these are concerned. But when I try my hand at something totally new, to which I am a complete stranger, for which my confidence levels are bare minimum and I rely on my 'much-experienced' friends' advice to do better at it and when I see these friends 'getting inspired' by this approach of mine, the kind of high that gives me cannot be expressed. To top it all, they never accept the 'getting inspired' part and I dont bother to mention it to them. I am elated and believe that 'Imitation is the best form of flattery' whether the accidental flatterer accepts it or not.

Although I have another something once said by someone more popular - "Talent imitates, genius steals" by TS Elliot.