A Letter to a Friend

To You,

I derive happiness from small things in life. That being said, bigger things in life leave me spellbound and I dont know how to react. I start doubting their enormity. Something similar happened to me a couple of days back when I heard the news that I had been willing to hear for over 4 months now. I was successful at last. But I didnt know if I was happy. I was so well prepared for the worst that I had almost started living the alternate life. To give my reaction a direction, my only critic didnt seem happy either. I decided to not be overwhelmed. And I continued with my preset agenda for the night (which indeed got a push as a result of the sucessful news). I was with friend log, people who dont know me well and who I dont intend to make a part of my successes and failures, and so it was the perfect setting. I was far away from being reminded of anything that I didnt want to think of.

And in all this I forgot that there are people who care for me, people who are willing to be a part of my life, people who deserve to be a part of my life. Its their right and I am no one to decide. Not everything about your life is governed by you. Id say most of it is not. I want to say 'I am Sorry'. I am so so sorry. You have been more than a friend to me. I did say those nasty things about you being selfish et all...well.. I still stand by them ;) , but you still have given to me that which no one could - hope, faith and confidence. I am not those who forget and are long gone. You should know that about me by now. There is not one thing that I have forgotten - Tulips, Pure, Oh Man, Hint, Empire, Eggs etc etc. No one forgets. Priorities change, relationships dont.

It wasnt my success that got to me, but my inability to celebrate that did. I couldnt have done that without you. I have always complained and I didnt even realise when it became inevitable for me to move ahead without you. I am so glad you are there and would not lose you for anything in this world. I love you.

From
Me

3...

Today is the day that I thought I would never see. But more often than desired you are introduced to a new side of your own and you realise you are a bigger stranger to yourself than anyone else walking on the road. And to accustom yourself to this new something you redefine your principles, your fundas, your focus.. you redefine yourself...!! And what is right and what is wrong? And who decides that? You? And how do you what you have decided is right or wrong? Arrghh!! I have asked this a lot and I dont like to ask no more..coz I never get an answer.

This time it has stretched the longest. I am happy I could stand and fight. But how much longer?

And as is rightly said... 'Teen tigada, kaam bigada'... I am just sitting in anticipation for things to take their turn. Although I have played safe this time but sayings dont falter too often.

This day shall not be forgotten.

The Fling

..And all I needed was one large vodka..or may be two.

On a related note I love the song and the video below. That woman is soo very sexy.