Have you ever felt that your past keeps following you everywhere you go and it never lets you off? No I am not talking about the people or the associates from the past who cross your way in the present. That would be a pleasant encounter for me. I love reuniting with people I have lost in touch with. But it is absolutley scary when situations from the past are put in front of you in exactly the same form as before. Situations that you dreaded and ran away from or lost to. Situations that you swore you would never want to face. And they come to you at the time when you have almost just started to forget about them, only difference being that this time they involve people who are presently very important to you as someone was in the past and this very thing tore away all the the relationship threads that you shared with them. I dont want to face the same thing this time around as well and lose another something or someone that is precious to me. That is the scariest thing that I have ever experienced. Good or Bad.. It was my past and I am DONE with it. But I guess it is not done with me. This is worse than the feeling of deja wu because here everytime new people are involved and it doesnt last just a few moments.
And today was that day.. after a long long time that I felt numb in my feet and shivered with the realisation that I was reliving my past all over again..!!!! To see it do the dirty dance in front of my eyes in its full fury left me speechless, although I fumbled with some words which didn't make any sense to me let alone to anyone else. For those few moments I had lost sensibility to comprehend what life was presenting to me. For once and for all :
'To Dear Life - I am tired of your Satanic gifts which present my dirty past wrapped in the most colourful of the covers. You rather not give me anything than give me this. Its lot of effort to forget the dread that this act of yours leaves in me and everytime that I think I have succeeded you only get back at me with more of this wrapped in even more beautiful covers. Should I stop believing in you? I dont want to be one of those who have lost faith in Life. But you need to stop troubling me.'
Well does life get any better
More yesterday than today
How I thought the sun would shine tomorrow
But it rained . . .
5 comments:
And then came the rainbow.
:)Ya true... It did..
Yaar mujhe to lagta tha Garima Gupta kabhi dukhi nahi hoti :) Yeah I realise thts almost impossible but... Nice post.. wats life without a little sadness every now n then :)
and this is just so that i get follow-up comments :) I am a bit slow with these things :D
:) Like you said.. its almost impossible that someone doesnt get sad.. so even i do..
With time i have realized that the person who appears to be the happiest and looking at whom you crave to be in his shoes... is a presumptuous desire.. and its better not fulfilled coz THAT person is never happy in the first place..!!
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