Is it Competition... or.. is it Competition?

How much is too much? Where is that end? Is there an end? What is the limit to achieving? over-achieving? or under-achieving? Delusion or dilemma? Where is the full stop? or even half a stop?

The fun of living is to always have something new to learn..to explore. The opposite of that fun is to either not bother to learn or over-learn. Is there something as over -learn? Can you burn yourself out just learning?

Although I have "3 years of work experience", I would like to treat it as negligible. With the real work that I have gotten into less than 6 months back, I have fallen prey to the very common work related problem of limits!! Where are the limits. Timings, money, social life, life at all.. et al. With the whole generation going through a similar phase, I tend to compare. There are all kinds of people. They have all either figured out what they want or are in the process or just pretend that they have. But either way I dont find myself anywhere close. I feel I dont have enough data to make the decision or rather enough choices to make that call. or Do I?

What is the ratio of the different parameters? So many variables! I struggle to find my principles as I struggle to find myself. In the rush of things of this quarter life I have lost much or just lost my vision and fail to see the gains. Oh that reminds me I might have to get reading glasses. Finally.. !! I can get a really sexy pair of glasses and can pretend to be a reader!

Seeing people whooping past you exactly making that "whooop" sound makes you wonder are you already behind? Already? But then would you switch places? Is being content a good thing or does that just make you less competitive?

How much is too much?

The Other Side

So recently two of my ex-bfs got married, one of my ex-bfs ex-gf got married and of course twenty other friends of mine tied the knot too. Its almost a cool guess game when you open facebook every morning you challenge yourself to "how many would have gotten married today" question. A recent conversation with a friend related it to the falling pins in the bowling aisle. Its true though.. ! and its scary at times.. ! Its a lot of change around to digest. The whole generation is suddenly getting married. And there will come a time when the whole generation will be popping kids. And there will be kids everywhere. There will be one popping every min.

Its also a lot of pressure. The pressure of being single in a generation that is pushing things forward. Im glad I am not the last one in this race and have friends to stand by with.

Its strange to see your ex get hooked. Its not feeling sad at all, its actually happiness for them. But you know exactly what they were looking for, what issues we faced and apparently that new girl fitted the bill correctly. Its beautiful though, really is to see them all happy and smiling in their wedding pics.

There is love in the air. :)

There is love in the air man. :)

I really appreciate those men who take the plunge and are ready to commit. Its not a man's thing to do. Most females are mentally prepared but most men are not. But when I see my good looking male friends suited up in their marriage surrounded by hoards of relatives and standing next to the plump love of their life, I really can only appreciate them. That man knows what it takes. So proud of them.

Better lives to them. Love them.

New!

It's time to dream the new dreams. You accomplish some; you alter some; and you don't accomplish some. But the fun of it is to keep dreaming.

An astrologer once told me (ya the only time I visited one in my life) that I'm whimsical. That's where I gather my strength from. That's what keeps me going through this mundane life that I have lived recently (which wasn't quite so mundane actually).

But it's not the end. Life has only begun. So what if I'm not travelling the world and visiting coffee shops with the guy who loves hardwood floors and white linen curtains in French windows. It's time to dream the new dreams.

Travel is a passé. Now suddenly everyone loves travelling and photography. Haah!!

Note: btw its really funny posting from my phone!!

The first or the Second..

Something I came across on Facebook. Facebook is the storage of some such weird stuff.

Nevertheless, either ways.. In either light this makes you feel bad; whether you were the first or you had a second in your life!

On the Other side

How difficult is it for us to live life and be thankful. Why do we fail to acknowledge what we have today. Why do we take it for granted. Our health, the people we love, our life, our work and what not. It doesnt take too long for it to go away and before you realize, its too late.

Snapshots of.... the crepes at Eiffel Tower, the pink flowers in Brugges, the bouquet of roses in the INC room, the guitar playing, the glass of champagne dropping, the socks all over the room, Kenny G on a tattered black player, the blue jacket that was smelt, the music that I never used to listen to, the eyes with the look of pride and sometimes embarassment, Bryan Adams (oh No) and the Manorama stories, the sloppy kiss, bhutta and Vasanthi, the Oh Man jokes and tulips, the green eyes that always stared, the wrong size pink pencil and that smile, pillu and billu, and what not...keep coming back to me. Life is full of these smaller instances and these smaller stories to tell. Its these pieces put together that defines life... Life is not the bigger picture! Then why do we fail to live these moments.. Why do we take these for granted..

It doesnt take too long before life is whisked away from you and then you will regret everything you didnt do and everything you didnt say. Dont have that regret. You didnt live well, and that feeling wont let you die well.

Express and Live.

Love always.

Interference

Facebook's smart "People you may know" feature is also pulling a sarcasm at me. Wants me to befriend the person who disrupted the better years of my life. Its not that smart afterall. :)

Switching places

Where is the calm? With so much happening around me and so little happening inside of me, there is this state of unrest that I have become accustomed to. I have literally lost my senses. I cant smell the rain, and neither can I feel the warmth of the sun. There is this sadness that hovers over me. Is this 27?

Life has drifted away in the last 5 hours. At 22 it seemed to be in control. Nothing was planned but it still was so crisp. There were dreams and hopes and willingness to take control. Its so without hopes now. I have crushed everything I ever wanted to be. I have given in to the regular. I feel so distressed. Its lonely in here...this side of the world..this side of the life.

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I dont believe in signs but when in one same night.. you see an episode of friends where the purple house is getting packed up coz they are moving out and everyone now has a life to live and they are all moving on in life... and on the other hand you see Forrest Gump stopping his run coz he has left his past behind and is moving on... gives you a sense if you are forcing yourself to not understand.. to not get it yet.. !!

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I am planning a wine night with my girlfriends in a bar filled with rich dudes.. should be fun. Im giving in.

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He and I share a very soothing relationship. I didnt think I would say this a year back.. but we have grown out of it and Im glad we did. He gets me and makes me feel better. We share in our own special way. But we complain like everyone else. We are there for each other always yet not there. I wish him all the love and luck in life. He has made a great stride and will continue to do so and I know one day will make me super proud..

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Its feels amazing when people acknowledge your presence and give you that respect. When you feel you have earned it, you have won them over. Little rewards of my workplace. I am falling in love with them. They like me. :) I know they do.

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So I got a rishta.. Of course Im turning 27 this year! Now its not such a unheard thing. Perfect guy but he is my height and Im SHORT!! Hehe.. I have always been with tall guys. Not regular height, but tall. Out of habit cant take this one. I should be the last one making an issue out of this. Makes me laugh out loud!

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I love Java chip frappucino. I am addicted to it. Yes I am. Guilty!

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So Yes. I miss myself at 22. Well then, I missed myself at 18. Its the circle of life. And you know what I finally have regrets. The great Miss Principles has finally left sight of each and every of her principles. No wonder I feel so lost. I have become a suffering to my own self. I saw myself a certain way and I dont see myself at all now.