Life can be such a bitch. It has come a full circle for me and I dont like this circle game that it plays. You reap what you sow. Be good to others and good shall happen to you as well. These philosophical statements dont even look good in the books let alone when they start applying themselves to your life.
With time I have learnt to appreciate what people do for me. People....umm..I mean good friends. And as far as the rest of the world is concerned, I have always been very apprehensive when it does something for me. Nonetheless, I spent too much time learning that art and meanwhile lost a lot. I lost him.
I have a lot of good friends who would give their right arm for me. And I feel I maintain a nice symbiotic relationship whereby I return with interest all that they have done for me. But I am never appreciated. Is it coz just like me they are taking their time to learn to appreciate or is it coz they dont have enough to appreciate about. May be I am being too calculative here, but isn't that something which all of us do at some point in time in our respective lives.
First love:
One can never forget his/her first love. 'How cornier can it get?', I used to think. Love is Love. You love this person today and then you love another person later and then another and finally you get married and you love this one person for the rest of your life. And in the middle of all this how can you ever think of your 'First love'. 'Love' has become such an over rated word, I used to think. So much so that I had stopped using it. I wanted to be true to myself. But I wish I had not tried to be so rational and just played the fool every young teenager does and told him that I loved him so dearly. So much so that I agree to the corny statement - One can never forget his/her first love.
But its true that life moves on and it waits for no one. You are smart if you can keep up with it. And I think I have been able to do just that. I may have not done a good job but I atleast have done the job.
14 comments:
at times when I can't understand why I did this or that, why that person and I are not together anymore, when I wonder about the what-ifs...I never have answers, only questions...I just leave it to life...
if he/she was meant to be with you, share this life with you...no matter what, he/she would still be standing next to you...
so maybe, he came into your life for a reason and with an expiry date...he came, left his footprints and when the time came...moved on...
all you can do is, take a picture of his footprints and hang them on the wall and think about the happy things...if possible, or think about nothing at all...with time, everything will fade :)
I dont know if I made any sense :)...but such things seldom do :P
I know what you meant and i think thats exactly what i am doing.. As i said... 'i have done the job, may be not very well.. but i nonetheless have done the job'... of moving on...
And its true... he really came into my life for a reason... rather for a lot of reasonS... and did leave his footprint.. I can never Thank him for all that he has taught me... coz words arent just enough...
I am just happy that I met him..That he was a part of my life..
hey nice blog you have goin here...
...i totally understand your feelings about first one's love...
most of the times its just all about two people moving with the flow of things till the directions are about to change...that's when the decision is to be made and our fate's decided...
i am sorry that your love had to leave but like i said its all about living in the present so that your able to take a decision in the present...not in the past or in the future...but in the PRESENT...
i believe one of the most difficult things in life is to take a decisions in the present...and thats what it means to LIVE life...
you are correct when u say that the most imp thing is to take decisions in the present. coz one's past always influences his/her decision and future will be affected by this decision in the present. But then i guess thats what is the whole point of your decision. A good decision is that which is inspired by the past and will keep the future good....
i guess u havn't ever tried it...i mean taking a decision without the past or the future to bother or worry you...
try it once...may be you'll see what i mean
yes if its a decision to go ahead and buy a dress or to eat vada pav... I am sure this is not gonna bother me..
but if it is anything other than that..naaa.. i dont think what u say makes sense in this practical world.. and it isnt that i havent tried it.. i have.. and i have not liked it.. coz i have either condemned it in my present itself coz i felt that it reflected that i havent learnt from my past experiences or i condemn it sometime in the future coz i felt that the decision i took sometime back is affecting things now..
Its easy to say than actually follow what u are saying..
Since you like quotations...
"He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it."
- Douglas Adams
“I worked so hard for that first kiss
And a heart don’t forget something like that...
Like an old photograph
Time can make a feeling fade
But the memory of a first love
Never fades away.”
Tim McGraw
I dont know how i missed the first quote comment...the one by Douglas Adams..i didnt read it until now... yeah i had heard it before and it made just so much sense...
and the newer quote.. is so true.. i would have never agreed to it.. if it wasnt for my own experience..
To your first para I can just say :"Expecting the world to treat you fairly just because u are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you just because you are a vegetarian". You could get me started on love and I would give u a million real life heart wrenching stories. But i dont wanna do that :D
Yeah i know.. I couldnt agree more.. I dont expect life to be just to me coz i have been good.. There are always ups and downs and we should see both to realize each of their significance in our lives..
hey the stuff you wrote about your first love is so on the money. i think how many ever people we end up falling in love with in a complete lifetime... nothing replaces the feelings we felt that first time...
the nervousness and goof ups of the first date...
that uneasy silence the first time your alone in a room together...
that first kiss under the starlit sky...
after such experiencing such feelings and then moving away its so difficult just to even say hello...iv been meaning to just call him but can't get myself too..
True.. nothing replaces the feelings we felt the first time.. They are still so vivid and special..
Come to think of it why are first kisses always under the starlit sky..:)
Well, i had called him.. But it wasnt the same. Then after some years i knew it would never be and then after some more years i never wanted it to be.. Though we dont like change but change is always healthy.
actually its good that first kisses are under starlit skies...at least the face won't haunt you later !!
and it all depends one what one says when you call...i remember i had completely messed it up...
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