Or I wonder.. isnt this a work of circular existence. I googled the idea of circular existence, but the theory isnt well developed and is mostly retorted back at by the cynics who want to take the blame for everything that goes wrong and just dont want to leave it to the fate.
But oh well.. ! Whatever it is.. life kicks you in the butt right when you think you have a very nice ass...! Such is life..
Why are guys so confused?..yes these days my posts are clouded by guy-thoughts but they are indeed holding a lot of my attention off late.. I understand I am here to study and make a career for myself and blah blah blah.. But Im still 25 and enjoying life... So..
Why are guys so confused? I always wanted to have a relationship with a bad guy... and I have it now. All my guy friends and boy friends have been men of the highest honor and I couldnt have been treated better. But I finally have had my share of a bad experience - an experience with a bad guy. A guy who cheats, who lies, who is scared of commitment (so am I with this guy.. but woteva), who hides things and makes excuses. Well, he opens the doors for me...all the possible doors in the world - car door, restaurant door, home door and on and on goes the door opening. It really gets irritating sometimes.. Yes, it gets irritating esp when you know he aint in love with you. Partly he is not the best guy in the world and partly coz he is American! They are so slow in getting involved with someone. And they are always so polite and make things seem otherwise. I never falter in seeing through guys.. or for that matter people. But this is my first mistake.. or may be I was looking forward to this mistake.. and made it deliberately. I dont know.
What hurts is the fact that they prefer the chase. I could have been all "hard-to-get" and my life would have been amazing. Weird law but is indeed true!
Anyways. It was a weekend of horror! But who cares.. walk away is the new policy. Its surprising how easy that is for people and it is so opposite for me. I can forget (not forgive) and keep up than just let my relationships fall through.
Anyways, now I am hungry and I cannot type anymore.
Current Status - Angry/Pissed/In need for a drink
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